Distant Hope END

The sound of the horn honking woke Anna from her sleep. She threw on her robe and walked out of her room. She heard Bea asking for her from her room. She walked to her Aunt’s room and turned on the lights. Bea was in her bed with the covers up to her chin. Her pink foam rollers were on her head and she looked like she’d been sleeping deeply like Anna.

            “Who is that?” Bea asked.

            “I don’t know. I’ll go check.”

            Anna walked down the stairs and turned on the light. She walked to the door and pulled it open to reveal Jake standing on her front porch. He was wearing a wrinkled white t-shirt and torn jeans. His hair looked as if he hadn’t washed it in days and he had blood shot red eyes with a full grown beard. She was so shocked that she almost tumbled over by his appearance.

            “Hi,” he said.

            “Jake?”

            He ran a hand through his dirty hair. “Yeah, it’s me. I must look like a mess, I’m sure.”

            “What are you doing here?”

            He swallowed and then he laughed. “You’re not going to believe it.”

            Anna crossed her arms and sighed deeply. “Let me guess. Your so called little angel dumped you?”

            “Are you going to let me in?”

            “No. Why should I?”

            “Is this how you’re going to treat me now? It was a mistake I made and now I’m going to pay with this cold shoulder?”

            “Cold shoulder? You think this is cold shoulder? I haven’t even begun!”

            Anna heard a whirring sound and knew Bea was coming down the stairs in the elevator built by the stairs for her use. She turned her head and Bea was wheeling herself toward the door.

            “Hello Jake,” she said.

            “Aunt Bea, hello,” he said.

            She looked at Anna. “What’s going on here?”

            “I’m just here to visit,” Jake said quickly. “Your niece, though, has another set of plans in mind. She’s not being very nice right now.”

            “If I remember, you weren’t nice to her in the first place either. But I am not a person who lets guests sleep outside of my home, so come on in.”

            Anna scoffed as Jake walked in past her. She slammed the door and followed them to the living room. Once Jake got situated on the couch, she took the lazy chair. One it was more comfortable and two, it was far from Jake.

            “Anna, make up the guest bedroom for Jake. I suggest we all go back to bed and we can handle this in the morning,” Bea said as she wheeled back to the elevator.

           

 

            “I know you hate me,” Jake said as Anna was getting the bed ready for him.

            She slipped the pillow into the case and fluffed it up. Tossing it on the bed, she sighed deeply. “What I feel right now is not relevant to you.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “Just forget it, ok? Sleep here tonight and tomorrow when you wake, I want you gone.”

            She walked to get out, but he grabbed her arm. “Anna, I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am.”

            She jerked her arm free. “Let me go. Just because you’re here doesn’t mean you can get funny ideas of us being back together. It’s one night only, Jake.”

            Anna walked back into her room and closed the door, feeling as if the world had just laid a ton of bricks on her back. Was she a bad person in her past life? Is that why this life she’s paying more than she’s receiving? She sat on the bed and covered her eyes with her hands. Taking a deep breath, she got back into bed and turned the lights off.

            The next morning Anna woke up to an arm around her waist. She turned and found Jake beside her. She got up and Jake moaned as he stirred awake. She pulled on her robe and yanked the covers off of him. He rubbed his eyes and pushed himself up on an elbow.

            “Morning,” he said.

            “What the hell are you doing in my room?” she cried.

            “We’re husband and wife. What’s wrong with that?”

            “No, we were husband and wife. We’re not anymore. Get out of here!”

            He sighed and stood up unsteadily. He ran a hand down his face, something she’d seen him done hundreds of times when he first got up in the morning. She crossed her arms, suddenly feeling violated from him. He looked up at her and cleared his throat.

            “I’m sorry. I just…I miss you,” he said.

            “Well, that doesn’t give you the right to sneak in here when I’m sleeping and get into my bed. My bed doesn’t include you anymore. You’re not invited.”

            He raised his hands. “I heard that the first time. I’m leaving.”

            As soon as he left, she let out the breath she was holding and shook her head. Staring at the sheets, she felt disgusted and ripped them off. They needed some major washing.

            Dressed in a jean skirt and a red tang top, she was tying her hair into a bun while coming down the stairs when she heard Jake’s voice in the kitchen laughing with Bea. She rolled her eyes at how fast he was already winning over her aunt. She felt sick to her stomach and decided to go outside instead. The weather was already blaring hot and she felt her skin begin to sweat. Taking a deep breath she took a step down the stairs when she was pulled from behind and yanked around. She faced Jake’s freshly shaved face and when she tried to push away, he tightened his grip.

            “I came back to make amends, Anna. I came back to say I’m sorry. I’m here because I want you back,” he said.

            She shoved him off of her. “What makes you think I’m going to welcome you back? Don’t you remember what you did to me? You left me with nothing but heartache! If it was up to me, I’d have left you out here last night.”

            He tried to walk toward her, but she stepped back. “Come on, Anna! Quit playing hard to get. You know you want me back.”

            She laughed. “Do I? Why would I want a pebble in my shoe?”

            His smile died down. “Seriously? You really look at me like a pebble?”

            “What else can I say? All you did was make me feel as if I was dying. I was worthless to you. You crawled into various women’s bed while you had me at home and it didn’t even occur to you that it would hurt me. I built my world around you, Jake, I did. I made myself into the wife I thought would fit you. And what did you? You crushed me into tiny pieces and scattered me to the winds. I’m left trying to find my heart in every corner of the world and even if I ever do find all the pieces, I will never be the same again. What makes you think I’ll relent and let you do it again a second time?”

            “What do you want me to say?”

            “Nothing. I don’t want you to say anything. Just leave me alone, Jake.”

            Anna walked down the stairs and came face to face with Jedidiah walking toward her. Her eyes shifted from his and she turned to walk away.

 

            Jedidiah’s eyes followed Anna walking away and when he returned his gaze to the front steps, found Jake standing there staring at him. He took a deep breath and already knew the reason for Jake’s return. He slowly walked to him as Jake came down the stairs. The years had been kind to him, Jedidiah would admit that much. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on him. He worked out to keep his figure. But men like Jake had only his figure and nothing else. His heart wasn’t made of gold that was for sure. He felt the slightest bit of jealousy bite him as he thought about the years this man had spent holding Anna in his arms at night.

            “Jedidiah! What’s new with you?” Jake asked.

            “In this place, there is nothing new.”

            Jake laughed. “I’ll give you that one.”

            “What are you doing here?”

            “My wife is here so I came to check on her.”

            Jedidiah stilled his pounding heart. “I thought she was your ex-wife. I had heard the two of you were divorced.”

            “Perhaps we did divorce, but I’m going to win her back. What are you doing here? It seems I don’t remember you being too close with her aunt. What brings you around?”

            “I came here to see Anna.”

            Jake closed the distance between them. “What makes you think Anna will see you?”

            Laughing, Jedidiah replied, “Perhaps it’s something you should ask Anna. Excuse me.”

            He walked around the house and found her sitting by the oak tree that separated his mother’s house from her aunt’s. She looked fragile and not like the woman withering from pleasure underneath him last night. She looked up when he reached her and he grabbed her neck, pulling her in for a kiss. When he pulled away, she stood up and put her arms around him.

            “He showed up early this morning out of the blue,” she said.

            He pushed her away and cupped her chin. “Did he try anything?”

            She looked away and his heart stopped beating. When her silence became unbearable, he cursed and dropped his hands. She turned away from him.

            “He snuck into my bed this morning.”

            “I could kill him.”

            She turned back around. “But you won’t and even if you could, I wouldn’t let you.”

            “Why not? Don’t tell me you still love him?”

            She laughed and shook her head. “No, Jedidiah. It wouldn’t be worth it. Jake is the type who likes it that he is able to draw attention from you. He would love it if you tried to do something to him. It meant that he got what he wanted.”

            Jedidiah walked to her and took her hands. “Why did you let him in?”

            “I didn’t. It was Aunt Bea. If it were up to me, I’d have left him. But don’t worry. He’ll be leaving soon.”

            He nodded. “Good because I missed you last night. If I had my way, you wouldn’t have slept alone.”

            She smiled. “Well, it’s good that I have my bag of tricks.”

 

            Jedidiah returned home after leaving Lizzie with his mother and making sure that Jake had no more tricks up his sleeve. When he arrived, he saw a red pick-up parked in his driveway. He frowned as he walked to the car and looked in; a suitcase and some empty fast food wrappers were littered on the floor of the car. He came to the front and saw that the car was California. Who did he know from there?

            “Jedidiah!”

            He turned and found Janelle coming down the steps of his front porch. He almost dropped dead in his tracks. First Jake, now Janelle? What was the world coming to? Janelle was smiling as she came toward him. The years had been more than kind to her for she hadn’t changed a bit. She still wore clothes that were a bit too tight and wore her hair long and straight. The only difference was that she had lost weight and no longer carried the curves she once did. She was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a green shirt that brought out her blue eyes. No doubt she was the owner of the red truck.

            “Janelle, what are you doing here?” he asked.

            She shrugged. “I was in town.”

He laughed. “You were in town? That license plate says California.”

“Ok, so you caught me. I’m back. I had enough of the west coast and decided to come home. Besides, I wanted to come home to you and our daughter.”

The words tugged at his heart and all he could think of was Anna and her sweetness. Here stood the woman who had delivered his daughter who thought the world was perfectly normal. How she could even imagine that was beyond this imagination. He watched as she continued to smile as if things hadn’t changed between them. As if she hadn’t left him with a daughter to raise.

            “Janelle, what are you doing back here really?”

            She stopped smiling and realized he was serious. “Jedidiah, I thought you’d be happy to see me. I mean, come on, we have a daughter together.”

            “Now you remember you have a daughter? You didn’t quite remember that when you packed and left her for me to raise on my own. You didn’t remember about me when you lied to your parents that I was the one who got you pregnant. Nor did you remember about me when you decided that you weren’t fit to be a mother.”

            Janelle’s eyes filled with tears. “Why are you being this way? I was young and naïve. But I’m back. That’s what counts. I’m back and I want to make it work.”

            He shook his head. “What makes you think you coming back here will make anything work? Don’t you ever think about anyone but yourself? Did you ever stop to think about what this would do to Lizzie? Or to me? Or to my mother? Ever since I could remember, Janelle, you’ve only taken and taken from others. You never give back. What makes you think I’m going to give you a second chance for something I know you will never change?”

            “She’s my daughter too, Jedidiah. If I have to fight you, I will!”

            “Go ahead and see what happens when I tell the judges about how you left her for six years.”

            Janelle started to cry and ran her hands through her hair. “I’m sorry, Jedidiah. I am so sorry. But you have to understand that I am all alone now. My parents died a year ago. I’m all alone.”

            Jedidiah sighed. “I’m sorry to hear about your parents, but I can’t do anything for you here. You’re in the wrong place.”

            “Is there another woman in your life? Is that it? Is that why you’re pushing me away?”

            He walked to her until they were face to face. “There’s always been a woman in my life. She’s my daughter, my biggest fan, and the one person who has never given up on me.”

            “I want to see her.”

            “You can see her, but on my terms.”

            “Name them.”

            He sighed deeply. “You leave town after you see her. I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

            Nodding, she whispered, “Ok.”

 

            The afternoon sun was warm as Anna chased Lizzie around the backyard with her hands outstretched like that of an airplane. Lizzie was yelling for her to run faster to catch her. As soon as she yelled that, Anna picked up the girl and swung her around.

            “I got you!” she cried.

            “You cheated!” Lizzie yelled.

            “Are you calling me a cheater? I’m going to tickle you!”

            “No! I hate the tickles!”

            Anna dropped to the ground on her knees and began to tickle her belly. Lizzie burst out in laughter. Lizzie put her arms around her neck and they rolled together in the grass. They landed on their backs a few feet away out of breath. Lizzie was still laughing as Anna sat up.

            “You win,” Anna said.

            Lizzie sat up and shot her arms in the air. “Yes!”

            “You up for some cookies and milk?”

            Nodding, she said, “Yes, please.”

            “Ok, go inside and wash your hands.”

            “Ok.”

            As Lizzie ran inside her grandmother’s house, Anna stood up and Jake walked out of the house. She ignored him as he walked to her holding a glass of lemonade in his hand. All morning long, she’d been ignoring him and he knew it. So he did what he did best when she ignored him. He came into every moment she was in and tried to sneak into them. She had been wondering why her aunt hadn’t asked him to leave. She hated the sight of him and the thought of him sneaking into her bed this morning made her want to vomit.

            “You have a good relationship with his daughter. You think she’ll ever call you mother?” he asked.

            “I’m not trying to be her mother.”

            “Good because you never will be.”

            “Why don’t you just pack up and leave, Jake? You’re not wanted here.”

            Jake took a drink from his lemonade. “You’re not the owner of this house. Last I heard, I was welcomed to stay as long as I wanted. And I intend to.”

            Anna shook her head. “You were so set on leaving me for the dead, Jake. Why are you back now? You took my money and left me with nothing. You honestly think I’m going to make this easy on you?”

            He shrugged. “I don’t care, but I’m not ready and I’ll leave when I’m good and ready.”

            Before she could answer, Lizzie came running out laughing and shouting her name. Anna turned to find her laughing as she ran to her. But then a red pick-up truck came into view and Anna watched in horror as Jedidiah came out and Janelle followed behind him. Lizzie turned to give her father a hug and he picked her up. Then he brought her over to Janelle and Anna felt her insides turn to mush. Jake laughed and stepped to stand beside her, sighing loudly.

            “Ah, there’s the lovely family. That’s what happens when you fall in love with a man who has baggage, Anna. His wife comes back and they’re one happy family again,” he said.

            Anna ignored him as she watched Lizzie shake hands with Janelle. Then Jedidiah handed her to her mother and mother and daughter walked off. Without looking at her, Jedidiah followed them into his mother’s house. Hurt, Anna turned and ran inside the house as Jake chuckled loudly after her.

            As soon as she reached the privacy of her room, she started to cry. She didn’t understand how easy Janelle could sneak her way back into Jedidiah’s world. He had said all she was to him was the mother of his daughter, but the woman he loved was her. It didn’t look like that from her view. It pretty much proved that no matter how much she loved, she ended up getting hurt. Was she carrying a sign on her back that allowed people to hurt her freely? Tears streamed down her face and she wiped them away, angry that she had let him hurt that way. She heard a knock and Aunt Bea opened the door. She wheeled in and closed the door.

            “I saw that she’s back. Are you ok?” she asked.

            Anna nodded and swallowed a sob. “I’ll live. I’ve lived through worse than this.”

            Bea smiled. “That’s my girl.”

            She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. “Jake has to go. He’s not wanted here.”

            “Don’t worry about Jake. You just worry about yourself. Don’t take too long in here.”

            Anna nodded as she wheeled herself out. She walked to the mirror and checked her face. When she heard the knock again, she cleared her throat and assumed it was her aunt. But when the door opened, Jedidiah walked in. She froze as he closed the door and walked to her. She wasn’t prepared and he grabbed her by the waist, slamming her against him. Then he bent down and kissed her hard. It ignited everything she had felt last night and she didn’t doubt for a moment that she loved him. Her heart raced and she felt her toes curl in her shoes. When he pulled away, both of them were panting hard.

            “I know why you’re hiding from me, Anna, but you’re wrong. I don’t want her and never have,” he whispered.

            Anna sobbed and turned away from him, but he grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her. He held her and kissed her hair. “I saw everything. You guys were perfect together.”

            He pulled away and touched her face. “It doesn’t matter what you saw because all you saw was me handing my daughter over to her mother to see. From a stranger’s view, yes, it was like a perfect family. But don’t you remember that she was the one who broke my heart when she left? No matter how much she may come back to plead and beg, I will never change my mind.”

            “But Lizzie needs her mother.”

            “Lizzie doesn’t even know her. I don’t want her to come in and make her feel as if she was the reason why her own mother left. It’s the truth. Lizzie was why Janelle left. I will never forgive her for that and Lizzie doesn’t need a woman like that in her life. I won’t allow it.”

            Anna nodded. “I know that your daughter comes first in your life. And I love you for that. But I can’t be involved if there’s a chance that you will allow Janelle to walk back in. I’ve been broken once and if you break me again, I’ll die.”

            He took her hands. “What did I tell you before? You’re the only woman for me. Janelle has never been the one I wanted.”

            She frowned. “You have a daughter together.”

            Letting out a heavy sigh, he kissed her knuckles. “Yes, but that’s the only good thing that came from us. Janelle got pregnant and told her parents I was the father because I was the one she knew would take responsibility. When her father threatened to take me to jail, I married her. Afterwards, the truth came out and she left. So did her parents. She came back because her parents died and she had no one to care for her. In other words, she needed a safety net. And I was it.”

            “Wow.”

            “But right now, Lizzie is my daughter. I don’t care what the DNA says. I bathed her, clothed her, and fed her. She’s mine all the same. Janelle just wants a place to fall back on because she’s lonely. I never loved her and I never will.”

            “Doesn’t Lizzie need her mother?”

            Jedidiah shook her head. “No, not if she’s going to be here today and gone tomorrow. I don’t want my daughter exposed to that kind of hurt. I love her too much. She’s got my mother and now you if you’ll accept her.”

            Anna felt her eyes fill with tears as she threw her arms around Jedidiah. “I would love to accept her! She’s such a beautiful being.”

            He pushed gently away. “Come on, let’s go.”

            “Hold on. Before we do anything, I need to talk to Jake.”

 

            “There’s nothing for you here, Jake. You might as well go back and find something to do with your life. We’re over. Nothing you do or say will get me to come back with you,” Anna said.

            Jake was sitting by the oak tree staring off at the clouds. Anna sighed deeply and walked to sit beside him. He looked up at her with eyes as bright as the sun and she saw that there was moisture in them. He took a deep breath and when he opened his lips to speak, she put her finger against his lips.

            “Don’t say anything, Jake. It’s not going to change anything. At one point in my life, I did love you. But you didn’t love me enough. You didn’t look at me as if I was your only one. Although I gave you my entire world, you never found me at the top of your list. I was always second. For the longest time, I thought it was my fault. I thought perhaps if I was only prettier, thinner, and smarter; you’d turn to me for love. But now I understand that when a man truly loves a woman, he’ll take her as she is without having her change a single thing. They grow together. You and I grew apart.”

            Jake took her hand and held it in his hands. “I know what I did wrong. It’s just a little late for me to figure it out. It’s my fault. Everything that happened in our marriage is my fault. I didn’t appreciate you enough. I didn’t hold onto you enough. I let you cry alone when I had promised never to. I let you face the world alone. Worse, I held another woman in front of you. I wasn’t a good man.”

            Anna’s eyes filled with tears. “We were so young and what we thought was love wasn’t. I want you to find someone who will love you for who you are.”

            “No need to ask who you want.”

            She blushed. “Is it that obvious?”

            Nodding, he said, “Yes, but he’s a very lucky man. Thank you. I think I’ll leave here soon. But I don’t want you here when I go. I want that chapter closed.”

            “As you wish.”

            Anna walked around the house and found Janelle standing against her red truck waiting for her. Janelle hadn’t changed a bit. The woman moved toward her and held her hands together as if she was nervous.

            “Jedidiah told me about you,” she said. “You’re very lucky. He’s a good man.”

            Anna smiled. “He’s a great father.”

            “That too; Lizzie is crazy about him.”

            “Where will you go?”

            She shrugged. “I don’t know. But I know that this isn’t my home anymore. It’s not the same and I can’t fake it anymore. I hurt a lot of people and I don’t think this place is good with that.”

            “Small towns have a thing of that.”

            Janelle’s smile faded and tears filled her eyes. “Will you take care of them for me?”

            “Of course.”

            “I don’t think I’ll come back again. I promised Jedidiah I wouldn’t, but I also don’t want to face familiar faces that hold grudges. Please promise me that you won’t hurt them.”

            “I won’t. And you promise me that you will forgive yourself.”

            She nodded through tears. “I’ll try.”

            As Anna walked back into the house, she turned back around and found Jake walking to Janelle’s car. They exchanged words and he tossed in his bag. He got into the truck and she sped off. Anna took a long sigh and walked into the house to find Lizzie, Verna, and Bea sitting together at the kitchen table mixing a batter of cookie dough.

            “What are you two doing?” she asked.

            “We’re making cookies,” Lizzie said with a smile on her face.

            “Cookies! You’re going to get sick, little girl. You just had some cookies.”

            “Daddy says as long as I can get you to say yes, I can have all the cookies in the world.”

            Anna froze. “What?”

            She felt a pair of arms slide around her waist. “Say yes.”

            Anna turned around and faced Jedidiah’s warm gentle eyes. “Yes.”