A Hmong Daughter
Ua siab ntev, right? That's the term we hear all our lives as we are growing up as Hmong daughters. We're taught to ua siab ntev when our husbands cheat; we're told to ua siab ntev when our in-laws don't respect us; we're supposed to ua siab ntev no matter what circumstances we are involved in. Because a Hmong daughter is just supposed to "ua siab ntev." Man, I can't begin to tell you how many times I told myself to "ua siab ntev." It was like a mantra, I repeated over and over in my head. Just ua siab ntev and you'll live. Ua siab ntev never killed anyone. Ua siab ntev never made anyone think any less of you. But the problem is that we daughters growing up in western society today don't want to ua siab ntev. What has ua siab ntev done for us? It has never given us the things we always wanted in terms of relationships. We have ua siab ntev when our husbands cheat over and over and even while we bring them to our elders to lecture,