Where I Belong

 

All my life, I've always felt oddly out of place, like I don't quite belong. I was a loner in school. I didn't have many friends and most people didn't like me. I was afraid of being judged so I kept to myself. I walked down the hallways alone and seldom had people to hang out with. The people who did know me and hung out with me were my cousins. 

I remember someone asking me once, "How many friends do you have?" I began counting my cousins, nieces and sisters. They stopped me halfway and said, "No, no, no. Those are family. I'm asking about friends." I realized I had none. 

And then I met someone, someone amazing, someone who understood me without me having to say anything. Someone who could just read my mind and know instantly what it is like to be me. Someone who loved me for all I am and accepted all that I was. 

My husband. 

He became my best friend. He heard all my stories, wiped my tears and nurtured my soul back to life. He took all that was broken inside of me and pieced me together so I'd be a whole being. He never judged me. He never thought bad of me. He never once doubted my intentions. 

He simply just loved me. 

Through the years of dating, I came to love and lean on him as time went by. And when he asked me to become his wife, I jumped at the thought, not caring how young we were or what our life together would be. 

I just knew, I'd found my place...where I belong. 

Being with him gave me the peace of mind and the courage I needed to seek my place in the world. It is true when they say that when you have someone who loves you, who gently pushes you forward, you become a better version of yourself. That was how I found out where I belonged in this world. By letting myself be free of all thoughts of doubt, I became someone I began to love. That is one of the hardest things in this world, is to love oneself without holding back. We nick and pick things about ourselves until we're blue in the face about what we hate about our body, our face, our all. 

But through all this picking and bashing, there's a single person in this planet who can look at you and just simply love you. Once I learned to see myself through his eyes, I began to discover my place in the world. I began to see clearly my ability to be free of all judgement and let go. I learned to let down my guard and just simply live without fear. 

My best friend, my soul late, my twin flame, my true north...Thank you for showing me how great I am.