Does Tomorrow Exist?

 

Today, January 8th, is a heavy day in my world. I found out that a very close aunt of mine passed away. She was like a mother to me and embraced me openly with welcoming arms when I married my husband. It has saddened me so much and my heart is left open with an emptiness that I cannot find a way to fill up. Losing her feels like losing my mother all over again. 

23 years ago, I married into this family and she welcomed me so warmly that I never questioned her love. She always had a smile, laughed at my jokes and was present in all I did. Over the years, we grew so much closer when we went on retreats of the Vang family together. There, I saw her not as an aunt, a grandma, but as a woman, who loved, cried and hurt. She showed me what it was like to lose a husband at such a young age, to fight in a community where a woman without a husband was deemed unworthy and how much she truly loved her children to remain their mother for all their lives. I will never forget how she spoke of her late husband with such passion of love after so many years and remembered every detail of their marriage together. I cherish these moments and I am thankful I got to spend so much of it with her. 

As I reflect on the loss of our family today, I am reminded that tomorrow is a day that is never quite guaranteed. It's there among the vocabulary and can't be erased from history, but it never brings the joy you wish for. Sometimes it brings heartache and pain along with tears and broken promises. That is why we all must live for today and count our many blessings. We must do what we said we will and do it with heart. As we tread this journey called life, we are often times called home earlier than expected and tomorrow doesn't bring us any value except a story or a legacy to leave behind. 

To my aunt: I love you and I hope that you find peace in your journey home. May you find the comfort of Uncle's arms as he welcomes you to the afterlife. I hope you know how much of an impact you've made on me as your Nyab. I will forever be grateful for all your teachings and will remember your smile forever.