An Empty Bed

It’s the silence that eats at us daily. The space left untamed between us that slowly devours who we have turned into. The world is always so dark, so twisted with our own guilt and pain. Promises made have now been broken too many times to count and no mending can be done. I don’t belong here and neither do you. Who will be the first to break the silence? Who is brave enough to leave? Loneliness is an emptiness that eats at our souls and leaves us invisible to each other. We’ve lost each other and there’s no way to find back to us again. Your arms don’t hunger for me and your eyes have begun to wander. The fragrance of our marriage has died and there’s nothing we can do to get it back. The agony between us is too big and too much to fix. You’re too proud and I’m too stubborn. Perhaps we should just avoid everything and walk away.

            The silence of a marriage is what no one wants. The emptiness of a bed is what everyone avoids. The pain of a heartache is what no one seeks. But when the water runs dry, when the ocean is depleted, and the stars no longer shine, the chain of love becomes dust and can break. The yearning of drunken kisses becomes an annoyance that disturbs the soul. The feeling of your hands on me reminds me of what is not there and I’m struck with hurt. Tomorrow is a day for me to walk away. Tomorrow is the day I become free and no longer will lost find me again. Tomorrow is what I will look forward to. Tomorrow is more.

            The truth can’t be hidden when I look into your eyes. It lies in your deep hazel eyes, all the words unspoken. The way how you touch me reminds me of what used to be and is no longer there. I’m tired of everything. Exhaustion can bring anyone to their knees. I’m tired. I’m tired of what isn’t there. I’m tired of how others look at me. I’m tired of how you don’t.