Past Promises Chapter 8

Anna sat quietly in the car as they drove to the restaurant. Out of all the people in the world, it had to be Jedidiah. She shut her eyes and thought of the moment when Owen called her to his side. She never expected to see him again. But here they were, 12 years of heartache later, they were reunited. But the circumstances were quite different now. They both belonged to someone else, not each other. She stared at Owen, who was driving, and felt the sting of guilt. He hadn’t told her his friend’s name and so she wasn’t expecting anything like tonight. Who would have known that this was how her life would turn out to be?

     She met Owen at a business conference six years ago and since then he had been trying to pursue her. She never thought she’d cave in and agree to marry him. The truth was, she was afraid that if she didn’t, she’d be alone for the rest of her life. The other truth was that she was waiting if Jedidiah would magically appear at her doorstep. And of course, he did, after she agreed to become Owen’s wife. Life had its own bucket of surprise.

     Anna was twisting her hands together, nervous about the dinner. When she saw him again, her heart fluttered to life and the emptiness inside of her shattered. It was as if the key to the cage that kept her locked finally surfaced. It was a miracle and a curse at the same time.

     Her world hadn’t been the same since she left Jedidiah. Her mother took her off to Europe where she was thrown among strangers and a different language. Her mother wasn’t kidding when she said she was going to go somewhere she would never see her father’s face again. She spent four years in Europe until her mother’s own insanity of losing her father caused her to commit suicide. After she lost her mother, she returned to the states. The first place she visited was Jedidiah’s old home, but she found it had burned down. With no forwarding address, she tried to continue on with her life. The old house where she lived had been sold. She never found her father again and to this day had no idea if he was still alive or not.

     “You’re quiet,” Owen said breaking her thoughts.

     She smiled and turned to face him. “I’m fine.”

     “You’ll love my friend. He’s great. He’s hilarious, smart, and has a great sense of humor.”

     Anna nodded. “Sounds fun.”

     They arrived at the restaurant and Anna’s stomach was in knots. Owen opened the door for her and she watched as Jedidiah and Heather made their way to meet them. She tripped over the curb and Owen caught her. Embarrassed, she quickly walked ahead of him and ignored Heather’s gaze. When they reached inside, the hostess brought them to a table and they sat down. She needed to make a getaway and excused herself to the restroom. She didn’t hear Jedidiah saying he had to use the restroom as well. Just as she was about to open the bathroom door, she was grabbed by the arm and pulled to the back where the cooks stared at her with curiosity, and to the alley where she turned around to face Jedidiah. He was breathing hard and she was frightened. She tried to walk around him and he grabbed her arm, pushing her back.

     “Don’t,” she said.

     “Don’t what? You have no idea what I “don’t” want to really do, Anna,” he said through clenched teeth.

     “It’s not the same anymore. It’s been too long.”

     “The hell it has. I’ve been waiting for you.”

     She laughed. “You have? Then who is Heather?”

     “Where have you been?”

     “Don’t ignore the question!”

     “She’s obviously not that important for me to ignore it. I want to know where you’ve been. I spent three years looking for you. I almost went blind. I’ve gone crazy and back.”

     She felt the tears enter her eyes. She stared at him and felt the love she still felt bubbling up. She let out a sob and threw her arms around him. She didn’t care if she was caught. She needed his comfort. She felt his arms around her and everything felt right as she inhaled his scent.

     “I have longed for this,” she whispered.

     “Me, too.”

     She pulled away. “My mother took me to Europe.”

     “Europe?!”

     “Yes and she couldn’t face life without my father. She ended up taking her own life. I came back home and the first place I visited was your old home. But it was burned down.”

     He swallowed. “Yes, it caught fire from the wild fire that was spreading. I was sad to see it burn down. It meant everything to me. I’m sorry to hear about your mother.”

     Anna nodded. “It was a very difficult time for her and for me.”

     “I’m sure.”

     She sighed. “Jedidiah, I tried to find you too. And then it just didn’t work out. I met Owen a few years later and he spent six years proposing to me. I finally agreed.”

     He stared at her ring. “You finally agreed.”

     “Yes.”

     “I’m going to ask you to break that agreement. You’re not going to marry him. You’re going to marry me.”

     He moved closer to her and backed her into the wall. He placed both arms around her, securing her to a place where he had full advantage. She could smell his musky scent; it hadn’t changed a bit. His eyes were blazing with an emotion, something mixed with passion and jealousy. He licked his lips and she gulped down the lump at the base of her throat.

     “Jedidiah, it’s been too long. You’re with someone and so am I,” she whispered.

     He smiled. “Heather is a silly girl with a lot of thoughts in her mind. She’s nothing to me. She couldn’t hold a candle next to you.”

     “But what about Owen?”

     “What about Owen? We’re friends and friends fight over girls. It’s been told over time for as long as I can remember. But what you should remember is that I had you first and you were stripped from me. He picked you up and kept you safe. I should thank him.”

     She ducked under his arms and put distance between them. “You can’t do that to him. He’s too good of a man.”

     Jedidiah turned around. “He’s too good? What are you trying to say? Have you slept with him?”

     She frowned. “What do you think?

     “I don’t know. 12 years is a long time.”

     “If you knew me at all back then, you should know that I would never let anyone touch me until I was sure of how I felt.”

     He walked toward her and took her hands. “I know. I’m sorry. Just seeing you now has brought everything back to me. I haven’t gotten over you at all. You still linger inside of me. When I am awake, all I want is you. When I sleep, all I dream of is you. How am I supposed to go on living knowing that you are within my reach, but also so far away? Do you know I searched forever for you? I drove myself crazy and blind trying to find you. The day your mother took off with you, it killed something deep inside of me. Seeing you now has only woken up what was dead long ago.”

     Anna felt the tears fill her eyes. “Jedidiah, I love you…still. Every time I thought of you, my heart ached. I thought that if love could kill, I’d be dead by now. Every day when this feeling of tortured came upon me, I was left feeling numb and thinking life was worthless. Seeing my own mother shrivel up and die because of a love that destroyed her life only made things worse.

     “I tried to get over you, I tried. But I just couldn’t. How could I forget the one person who ever truly understood every part of me? I’m about to take on a new last name, but it’s not the last name I truly want.”

     He wiped her tears and pulled her into his arms. “Anna, my sweet Anna, how can I let you take on another man’s last name? You are like a light in my life and without it, I am blind. No matter what happens, I will do what I must to have you. Without you, I cease to exist. You are the reason why my heart beats.”

     She pulled away from him. “What are we going to do? I can’t hurt Owen. I just can’t. He loves me too much and he spent so long trying to get me to agree. I’m afraid I will break down.”

     Jedidiah cupped her chin. “Would you rather rob him of his chance to have real love?”

     “No.”

     “Then be brave and follow my lead.”

     Anna nodded and took his hand as they walked back into the restaurant. She took a deep breath as they made their way to the seat where the hostess had sat them earlier. But as they got near, she saw Owen’s face and she quietly removed her hand from Jedidiah’s hold. He turned and glanced at her. She swallowed hard and felt the world around her turn into a buzzing haze. Jedidiah reached for her hand again and led her to the table. Owen was the first one to look up and he smiled as he stood up. He walked to them and then he noticed their hands entwined. Laughing, Owen slapped Jedidiah on the back.

     “You work fast, buddy,” Owen said.

     Anna let out a sigh and released Jedidiah’s hand. She took a step toward Owen, but Jedidiah reached out and held her waist. This time, Owen’s smile faded and he glanced between her and Jedidiah. Heather was now standing next to Owen and glaring at them with huge eyes.

     “What’s going on here?” Heather asked.

     Anna felt tears filling up her eyes as she tried to walk away from Jedidiah. But he kept his hold on her waist and she felt his fingers dig into her skin. She knew from his hold that he was frightened she would leave. She kept her gaze on the ground and avoided Owen’s eyes.

     “Anna?” Owen asked.

     Jedidiah cleared his throat. “Owen, there’s something you need to know.”

     “Clearly,” Owen said with annoyance.

     Anna looked up and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

     Owen smiled and pulled her to him. He held her and kissed her temple. “You don’t need to be sorry.”

     “Tell him, Anna,” Jedidiah said.

     She pulled away and placed a hand on his chest. “Do you remember what I told you about my life?”

     He nodded.

     Anna turned to look at Jedidiah. “That is it.”

     Owen stared at Jedidiah. “What are you talking about?”

     Anna let him go and walked to stand beside Jedidiah. “Owen, life isn’t fair. It brought something I couldn’t get over back into my life. Life works in mysterious ways.”

     Owen grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of the restaurant. Once they were outside, he placed his hands on her shoulder and shook her lightly.

     “Tell me you’re kidding!” he said.

     Anna began to cry. “I didn’t know! How was I supposed to know your friend was the man I could never let go?”

     Owen shook his head. “No, you can’t do this to me, Anna. You’re wearing my ring and so as far as I see it, you belong to me. He’s the past and I’m the present. Get over it. I’m your future, not him.”

     She sank to the ground. “You don’t understand, Owen. When the one thing you have always wanted shows up alive and well, all you want to do is open up the memories and feel everything again.”

     He walked to her and tilted her face to look at him. “I love you, Anna. Every fiber of my being loves you. I have spent six years trying to get you to open to me. Now when you finally do, you’re going to let a little love from the past destroy us? Please…honey, I love you. I love you so much.”

     Anna touched his face. “Owen—“

     “Just say you love me.”

     Before she could respond, Jedidiah came out with Heather trailing behind him. Anna stood up and Owen followed her. Heather’s face was written with shock and disgust as she stood there not saying a word. Jedidiah walked forward and reached out his hand to her. Owen came to stand between them.

     “Jed, you’re my friend, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to allow you to take her away from me. She’s mine,” Owen said.

     “She was never yours. She has been mine from the beginning.”

     Anna let out a sob. “This is a war I won’t fight with you two. I choose neither one of you. If this is how it’s going to be, I’d rather be alone.”

     Jedidiah frowned. “Anna, don’t say that. Be brave and just tell him the truth.”

     Anna shook her head. “I can’t. I can’t just push one person away so I can allow another one in. I’m not that heartless.”