Dance To Your Own Rhythm

        When I married, I faced the same lectures every other Hmong girl did. “Be patient,” “Wake up early,” “Cook, clean and serve.” The same thing was told to me as I’m sure you were told as well. I listened and just wondered where I went wrong as a daughter. I felt as if my wedding day was a day to cut all ties with my family.

        And so began the duty of being a Nyab. No more outings with friends, no more nice clothes, no more of anything that wasn’t approved. Your life was now chained to the kitchen and to cook, clean and serve…until death do you part.

        But I’m not a submissive woman. I’m not the type to submit to other’s orders and rules of who I should be and succumb. I like dancing. I like filming. I like being out with friends. I like dressing nice. I’m a woman with dreams and hopes. I’m human after all and I desire just as others do.

        So I dance to own rhythm. My music consists of me reaching for dreams that I want. My bridge is full of successes and fails I meet and accomplish. I don’t expect anyone to understand or to feel as if they understand. My happiness is all mine and if I don’t put myself first, I will wake up one day at 60 and wonder where I went wrong.

        A woman, married or single, mother or not, divorced or widow, is allowed to blossom and to grow with her hopes and dreams. She’s the first impression she puts on others and her wish to be more is not a crime. Her happiness is hers to create, to own and to live. As a woman, accept her accomplishments and celebrate her independence genuinely. Remember that when someone is successful, take an inner look at her struggles. She would have cried a river of tears before she throws confetti in the air to say I did it.