Forgive Me



Forgive me...
I should have loved you when you were here with me. Every day you tried to make me look at you in new ways and you smiled at me with more energy than you had. But all I saw was a mistake and I wanted nothing to do with you.

Forgive me...
I should have held you when I had the chance. Every night, I let you lie cold and alone as I pretended to sleep so you could not bother me. Every morning, I left before you woke just so I wouldn't have to look at you.

Forgive me...
I should have told you that I loved you every moment of every day. I lived in my silence and I enjoyed it while you pondered if my love was real or not. I didn't care if you heard me or not. I just wanted to hurt you so you'd leave me.

Forgive me...
I should have looked at you when you tried to make me see. I was blind and I walked in darkness as you fought to stay lit for me. Everything you did I was oblivious to it because I choose to be.

Today, I ask for you to forgive me but you are not here. This moment, I want to give you more, but you have left me. This hour, I want you to hear that I love you, but you can't. This time, I promise to change and love you for more, but you are not present. Because this morning, I buried you under the cold ground and I will have to live with my guilt.

Forgive me...

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