Mist & Fog 8

I tried to sit up, but he pulled me back down. He brushed the strands of my hair away from my face and lowered his lips to mine. The kiss stirred the fires inside of my belly and I felt my toes curl. I responded immediately and my hands pulled the sides of his face down for a deeper kiss. I heard him groan inside my mouth and it drove me crazy. I pushed him down and straddled him, my hair falling over my shoulders. He ran his hands up my shoulders and then down to the curve of my breasts. I bent down and kissed him deeply, feeling his erection, and hearing him groan softly. When I tried to get off, his hands came to rest at my waist.

            “No, stay, baby. I want you to make love to me,” he whispered.

            My mind ran wild with questions. “I…I’ve never done it this way before. I don’t know how.”

            He smiled and pushed up to a sitting position. He grabbed my face and kissed me hard. “You don’t know how much it pleases me to hear that I will be the first, sweetheart.”

            I looked away. “I’m embarrassed.”

            He shook his head and kissed the curve of my neck. “No, don’t ever be embarrassed about anything, honey. I like the honesty.”

            “I’m afraid I won’t know how to please you.”

            “You please me more than anyone I’ve ever known.”

            I looked into his eyes as he stared at me. “Really?”

            “Yes, sweetheart, and that’s the cold, hard truth. You please me more than you know.”

            I gained more courage as I took his hands. “Will you show me?”

            A devilish grin spread across his face. “We have all night long.”

 

            When I returned to work on Monday, I felt refreshed and my head was cleared. I had shared a beautiful weekend with a man who showed me ways to love and wasn’t afraid to accept me for all that I was. A part of me was beginning to thaw from the frozen hell I’d been through. After the incident with the senator, I felt as if I wasn’t ready to share my life with anyone. The fear of being left open and exposed for the world to see frightened me and I lived in fear that I would be left to pick up the pieces again. My father’s image haunted me when it came to the idea of being tied down. I was afraid that if I had an ounce of him in me, I would turn into him if I was loved and left. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to rejoin the human race again.

            When I looked into my life, I had no chapters on love because I’d feared it so much. I closed myself off from anyone who dared to come close to me. It didn’t occur to me until this past weekend that I’d been living in denial and that if I didn’t do something about it, I would end up alone; being alone sucked. Before I’d left the resort, I made a promise to myself that I would open myself up to Broderick, even if it meant being hurt in the future. If I continued to close myself off, I would lose moments with him. Those moments were too precious and it made me angry that because I was so afraid, I’d let so many moments like those slip through my fingers.

            “How was your weekend?” Gary asked as he came into my office. He was dressed in a pinstripe suit, making him look younger and fitter than usual. His eyes were bright and he looked fully rested, just like me.

            “It was awesome. I hope you had a good weekend.”

            “I did. Ok, I’ll see you in ten in my office to go through what we need to do in New York.”

            “Got it.”

            Dressed in my red pantsuit, I picked up the necessary folders and headed toward Gary’s office. I’d felt so good I went to extreme efforts to curl my hair and applied my makeup like I’d seen some of the women in the office wear. I knew that today would be my first day seeing Broderick again after he’d dropped me off at home. Our weekend together was raw, full of joyful intimate moments, and I couldn’t wait to see him again. But when I walked into the office, a gentleman I’d never seen stood up. He had dark hair that curled at the ends and the deepest bluest eyes I’d ever seen. He wore all black and looked like a million dollars in his suit. He smiled as Gary closed the door behind us.

            “Natasha, this is Henry Jordon. He will be taking Broderick’s place for this weekend in New York,” Gary said as Henry extended his hand to me.

            I was confused and a bit hurt. I watched as Henry continued staring at me and I took his hand. “Hi, nice to meet you. What happened to Broderick?”

            “Another big case fell through and he’s cleaning up the mess,” Henry replied. “Please, sit down.”

            As I sat down, all I could think about was, why didn’t he call me? Why wasn’t I notified that he wasn’t accompanying me to New York? After making the decision to let him into my life, I wasn’t sure if I’d made the right choice after all. Throughout the whole meeting, I paid enough attention not to screw up the deal in New York, but my mind was on Broderick. Henry spent the afternoon running through the agenda with me and I nodded when needed and spoke up when required. But my heart was trampled and as soon as the meeting was over, I rushed into my office and called him up. It went straight to voice mail and I hung up.

            “Are you alright?” Henry asked as he entered my office.

            I turned around and smiled. “Yes, I’m fine.”

            He smiled. “I am looking forward to this trip with you. I will see you soon.”

            “Yes, you too.”