Distant Hope 2

The smile on Gloria’s face faded as Anna turned and walked out. She passed a few people who were trying to give their condolences, but she ignored them and pressed forward until she saw Jake. He saw her face and walked toward her, taking her arm and pulling her outside to the parking lot. They waited until a couple walked in before Anna turned toward him and shoved him hard in the chest.

            “How could you bring her here? Do you have any respect at all? This is my father’s funeral, not an open bar!” Anna yelled.

            Jake threw up his hands. “She’s with me, ok? Where I go, she goes. If you can’t handle it, then it’s your fault.”

            Scoffing, she replied, “It’s my fault? Right, it’s always been my fault! It’s my fault that you couldn’t keep your damn pants closed! It’s my fault that everything is ruined. Why don’t you ever take responsibility for your actions, Jake? She doesn’t belong here!”

            He walked to her and pointed a finger at her. “Yeah? I don’t either.”

            She watched as Gloria came out and he took her arm literally dragging her toward his car. When the car sped out of sight, she fell to the ground and started to cry. Her heart was pounding with anger and hurt as she stared at the band she wore on her hand. With shaking fingers she took it off and tossed it on the ground. Wiping her eyes, she stood up and walked back inside where she was met with a crowd of people who were feeling sorry for her.

 

            It took everything she had to drive away from the house she’d call home for the past 12 years without crying. After the burial of her father, she knew she had to escape from this place. Her mother’s sister, Bea, was living in Marshall where she’d grown up. She had polio and had lost the use of her legs. When her life had crumbled, she called Bea and asked for help. Without a single thought, Bea told her to pack up and head straight back home. Now with her Chevy jammed full of what she had left to her life, she pulled her car to the driveway of the white Victorian house. She saw her Aunt Bea in her wheelchair on the front porch knitting.

            Aunt Bea looked just like her mother, but younger. They grew up close and lost both parents at a young age. For as long as Anna could remember, Bea had been taken care of by her mother. When her mother died, Bea had been left to fend for herself. In the darkest of her times, Anna often wondered how her aunt did it. Bea had short brown curly hair and dark green eyes that glowed like a cat’s. She was in her early fifties and wore floral skirts and pressed white blouses. She never let her handicap stop her and that was what Anna loved about her. Bea had never married and it always had Anna wondering why.

            Anna got out of her car and Bea looked up when she slammed her car door. A smile spread across the older woman’s face and she put her knitting down. Anna already felt the tears fill her eyes as she walked up the steps. Once she reached her aunt, she knelt down and hugged her tightly.

            “Oh, my dear girl, you’ve made it home at last,” Bea said in a soft tone.

            Crying, Anna pulled back and took a deep breath. “It feels nice to be home.”

            Bea reached over and wiped her eyes. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it out to your father’s funeral.”

            “Don’t worry about it Aunt Bea. You’re the only person I know who really cares about me at all.”

            “You must be hungry after that long ride. Bring your things in.”

           

            Anna pushed the door to the guest room aside and brought in her luggage. The bed was a simple twin bed with white covers with little pink daisies. She smiled at the print of the sheets and it brought warmth to her heart. Anna’s mother used to use sheets similar on her bed while growing up. She walked to open up the window to let in some air. She changed from her jeans and shirt into a yellow summer cotton dress. It was hotter here than it was in the cities. Pulling her long brown hair into a bun she walked down the stairs to find Aunt Bea in the kitchen. Smiling, she walked to the cabinets to gather some plates for lunch.

            “How was the drive?” she asked as Anna set the plates down on the table.

            “It was fine.”

            She wheeled herself over. “Grab the pitcher of lemonade in the fridge.”

            Anna opened up the fridge, took out the lemonade, and closed the door. As she brought it over, the front door opened and the voice of a young girl boomed in loudly.

            “Hello! Aunt Bea! Are you home?”

            Bea smiled. “In here, sweetie.”

            Anna turned as a little girl about six years old walked in holding a basket of fresh raspberries. She was wearing a pair of white shorts and a pink top with her blonde hair in two pigtails. She was so sweet looking with her blue eyes and dirt smeared face. She smiled at Anna and then caught Bea’s gaze and her eyes brightened. She rushed over and threw an arm around Bea.

            “I brought you some raspberries. My father said they’re the best,” she said.

            Bea beamed. “Thank you! I want you to meet someone. This is my niece, Anna. Anna, this is my neighbor’s granddaughter, Lizzie.”

            Anna smiled and knelt down before her. “Hello Lizzie. How are you?”

            She smiled and picked out a raspberry for Anna. “Hi. You’re pretty.”

            Anna took it. “Thank you. You are too.”

            She smiled and then gave Bea another hug before she bolted out the door yelling out good-bye. Laughing, Anna stood and finished setting the table. As she sat down, Bea looked at her strangely and Anna laughed.

            “What is it?”

            Bea brought her hands in front of her plate and pushed it aside. “Don’t you recognize her?”

            Anna thought long and hard. “Should I?”

            “It’s Jedidiah’s daughter.”

            She gasped and it finally hit her why she was so sweet and innocent. She had her father’s smile. Anna laughed as she leaned back in her chair. “Is it really? She’s so sweet! I didn’t know he got married.”

            “He’s not.”

Her throat went dry. “How’d he get a daughter then?”

            Bea sighed and let her shoulders hang. “You should really go ask him for the story. Around here, the story changes when told from one person to the next. Only he knows the truth. But I’ll tell you this. He was torn when you up and left to marry Jake. He was in love with you.”

            She laughed as she helped herself to some sandwiches. “Jedidiah and I were best friends. He wasn’t in love with me. We fished and hiked together. We were like buddies.”

            Bea smiled and poured herself a cup of lemonade. “He was your best friend and yet you didn’t know him at all. He had been trying to work up the courage to tell you he was in love with you. Don’t you know why he kept trying to tell you that Jake was all wrong for you?”

            Smiling, Anna replied, “Well he was my best friend, of course, he’d think that. Wasn’t he there to protect me?”

            “That too, but he also tried to keep you away from Jake. The two of you were like two peas in a pod. I don’t think I have a single memory of you growing up without Jedidiah in it. Why didn’t you marry him?”

            She shrugged her shoulders. “You have to be in love to get married, Aunt Bea. I wasn’t in love with him. I loved him, of course, but like he was a big brother to me. He was there to protect me when I needed it. We were like good fun buddies.”

            “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”

            Anna’s hands stopped in midair with her sandwich. She turned her eyes to look at her aunt who was smiling. Slowly, she set her sandwich down and sighed deeply; the thought of food gone from her mind.

            “Aunt Bea, Jedidiah and I were and always will be good friends. There’s nothing beyond that.”

           

            The afternoon sun was now high in the sky as Anna walked outside to take a look at the yard. She thought about putting up a garden here and knew that her aunt would appreciate it. There was a clothesline and she almost laughed as she thought about how she’d gone from hanging clothes out to dry to using an electric machine to do the deed. Aunt Bea’s house was an old white Victorian house with four bedrooms and three bathrooms. The garage was detached and stood behind the house. The house was laid out in a rich Victorian design that Aunt Bea took advantage of in decorating it to her taste. There wasn’t anything brand new; everything was bought from the thrift stores. The yard needed some work and she intended to cut the grass. Walking to the garage, she pushed open the door and walked in meeting a cloud of dust and cobwebs. She pushed aside some boxes and found the lawn mower except it wasn’t a motorized one. Sighing she pushed away some cans and reached for the handle. It was stuck and she tried yanking it hard. A few boxes fell over and some items fell out in a loud clank.

            “Great,” Anna whispered.

            As she reached for the fallen items a pair of hands grabbed her around the waist and she shrieked. She tried to fight whoever was dragging her outside, but this person was strong.

            “Let me go!” she cried.

            She kicked and connected with his shin. He groaned out pain and let her loose. She turned around and found he was bending over in pain. She used her elbow and slammed it down into the middle of his back. He howled and she turned to run when he reached out and grabbed her leg. She toppled over and grabbed onto his shoulders. They fell down together with him landing on top of her, their lips inches apart. Anna stared into a pair of brown eyes that haunted her dreams and held her deepest secrets; a face that was a memory in her mind through time and again. She paused and his name froze on her lips.

            “What are you two doing?” Bea’s voice boomed from the front porch.

            Anna gasped and turned to find her Aunt wheeling herself to look at them. She pushed him off and he stood up as she got up brushing the grass from her dress. Blushing, she ignored his gaze as she turned and headed toward the front porch when he grabbed her arm, spinning her around.

            “Anna?” he asked.

            She swallowed hard and peeled his hand off of her arm. “Jedidiah, it’s been a long time.”

            He laughed and ran a hand through his brown hair. “I…I’m sorry. I thought you were someone breaking into Bea’s garage.”

            Laughing, she said, “Oh, well, that explains a lot.”

            “Anna?” Bea called from the front porch.

            “Everything’s ok, Aunt Bea!”

            “Ok, I’ll be inside.”

            Anna turned back to find Jedidiah staring at her. She saw that gone was the long hair he sported in high school. He kept his hair short now and it suited him well. His eyes were the same brown that had stared into hers when they were together. He had filled out in his shoulders and arms. The jeans he wore hugged his legs and made them long and lean. The black t-shirt he had on broadened his shoulders even more. He was a man now and a father.

            “I met your daughter,” Anna said.

            He smiled and his eyes brightened at the mention of his daughter. “You did? She’s a handful, but I love her.”

            “I can see that.”      

            “How are you?”

            Anna sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I’m ok.”

            “I heard about your father. I’m sorry.”

            She lowered her eyes. “Thank you.”

            “And Jake too.”

            Looking up, Anna managed a smile. “Thanks.”

            Jedidiah reached out and took her arm. “Come here.”

            Trying to shrug off his arm, Anna stepped away, but he caught her hand. He brought her closer to him and she inhaled his scent. It had changed since high school. It was musky and very masculine. She looked away when he stared into her eyes.

            “Since when did you try to be brave? I know you better than anyone, Anna. You’re hurting and it’s ok,” Jedidiah whispered.

            Anna looked up, her eyes slowly filled with tears and she turned away. “I’m back here, Jedidiah. Doesn’t that say a lot about who I am?”

            “You came back home. There’s nothing wrong with that. When things get tough you come back home. It’s a long written rule.”

            “Where does it say that? I thought it was that you were supposed to make it yourself even if you wanted to come back home. No one forced me to leave; I did the leaving. I thought he was the one to keep me happy, but after years of marriage, I realized that all I followed was a dream. Do you know how painful that is?”

            “Yes, I do.”

            Turning around, Anna watched as he stared at her with those eyes that knew her so well. She inhaled a deep breath. He wasn’t the person she knew in high school. He was innocent back then. Today he stood a father, a scorned man from her wrong doing, and yet he was willing to speak to her as if she had never departed.