Get Into Houa's Mind

A while back, I was met with some words that really made me wonder what beauty truly was about. These words were how a woman should look. A beautiful face, a tiny waist, long legs, perfect perky breasts, and legs for days. I had tried so hard to work out to maintain my body, to keep my weight to a level where I was happy, and I hated a lot of my body parts. I had a relapse where I gained some of the weight back on and it made me realize something so important that I wondered why it hurt in the first place.  My body is designed for me. It is not designed for you or anyone else. My thighs touch when I walk, they jiggle when I dance, and I have cellulite. Across my stomach are stretch marks from where I carried my children and my hips are not even. My bottom is bigger than my top and my waist is thick. My stomach hangs down when I stand up and goes flat when I lay. But I discovered something. Know what it is? My body is MINE. It belongs to me and I have the will to love it or ha...

In life, we go through so many chapters that will really force us to open our eyes as to who we truly are. There comes a time in life where we are  met with such difficulties and one of those moments is when we must learn to forgive. The word forgive itself is like a bomb to our brain. If we do it, it must mean we're weak. But it's not true. It takes someone so strong, so brave, to forgive, not only others, but themselves. Remember that if you want closure, you must learn to forgive yourself as well as others.  Sometimes we meet people who are toxic to our well being and so we must make a decision to remove them from our lives. We have to learn how to forgive ourselves for doing so otherwise it will eat at us until we become just like the person we try to remove. You will lose your focus, your passion, and your drive if you continue to live in wallow and fear. Learn to forgive. It is very cleansing. 

Live for you. Live for your dreams. Live for your ability to make a difference in someone else's lives. Live for your smile. Live for the choices that define your success. Live for the joys you bring to other people. Live for your legacy that is about to come. Live for the smiles you bring to your children's faces. Live for the moments you never catch again. Let go a past that is unable to hold you. Let go hurt. Let go pain. Let go anchors that keep you from sailing. Let go fear. Let go endurance. Let go of others who don't allow you to grow. Let go the pressure to be like others. Let go the will to love those who hurt you. Let go the fear of others judging you. Let go the hate you build for yourself. Let go shame. Let go the inability to commit. Living and letting go will allow you to finally do what you've always wanted to do: LIVE.

A woman is merely a walking heart on legs. She feels what you can't. She loves what you deem improper. She's able to dissect emotions into a state of understanding. She's a fighter who can't stop once she's going strong. She's a healer. A man is often a provider who lacks communication. He gives all and seldom takes anything in return. He shields his emotions by avoiding the conversation. He turns feelings into little caps that he swallows to later dig through. He's a shelter  of strength who builds to protect. He's a friend. A woman is never one to argue with. She'll twist your words into misunderstandings until you end up losing. She is unpredictable and shouts spasms of forgotten past. She's a tremendous amount of work to have. She's a lover. A man is one to never stand up. He'll keep it forever in his heart and becomes destroyed. He finds little way to win hearts but sometimes forget to keep it. He is always sure of his re...

Thank you for teaching me not to become someone like you. Your selfishness has brought to me an awareness of what not to do. You only go as far as your facade can take you. Thank you for teaching me that it's easier than I thought to let you go. Your dishonesty has proven to me that I have meant nothing to you in the past. I shouldn't have to lower myself to be loved. Thank you for showing me that life is better without you. I can be free of your hurt if I so choose. I don' t have to endure anything you hand over to me. I matter more than you think. Thank you for allowing me to know that I have strength to fight these battles. I forgot for a moment there who I was. But s/he surfaced without wait and showed me the way to justice. Thank you for showing the world your true self. By finally revealing who you are, everyone will learn that to accept you for what you truly are. Some will love you, some will turn from you, and some will learn from you. Thank you for...

Time is quite brilliant. It makes us look in awe at couples who have been together for 50 years, yet we whine about not wanting to grow old. Time is sneaky. Before we can even blink, we wake up with 3 kids and own a van, yet we can't seem to catch it. Time is astounding. It makes us regret last chances and forget bitter encounters, yet we can't seem to move on. Time is our master. It makes work against it and at the end of the day, we are never appreciated, yet we can't let go. Time is an inevitable machine. We can't stop it. We can't rewind it. We can't get it back. But we don't ever really live until the end of time.

Getting pregnant is so easy. I don't know why she can't do it. Maybe it's because she's not a woman. Truth? All bodies are not like yours. It's never easy to just get pregnant. Stop judging. Losing weight is so simple. I don't know why she can't do it. You just gotta starve yourself. Truth? She has been starving. Stop judging. Earning money like her, she should be so rich. Why does she always pretend she has no money? Those school loans is nothing. Truth? How would you know.  You never had school loans. Stop judging. She's lost a lot of weight. She definitely is having an affair. Only unfaithful women lose weight. Truth? She's got cancer. Stop judging. Truth? Stop judging.

It starts out as a joke where you are the center of attention. It can be anything, from your recent weight loss/gain to the color you've put in your hair to the new husband/wife you have. Pretty soon, the whole crowd is talking about it. You try to smile, add in some remarks to make them laugh, hoping they'll move on. But they don't. What do you say? It starts out as a plea of help to get you to marry. You're too old. You need to get a life. Soon, you become everyone's subjec t to compare their children to. People use you as an example of what not to do. What do you say? It starts as a little flirtation that blows out of proportion. Soon, all you think about is him/her and not your spouse and family at home. They become an inconvenience while s/he becomes priority. You want out. What do you say? It starts out as an accident. He was drunk. He didn't mean it. But this time it landed you in the hospital with the loss of the baby. Everyone tells you to be...

When you were inside my womb, you heard my voice speaking to you. You felt my heart beat. You were tied to me through one single cord. When you were born, I held you in my arms and thought how precious you were. Your tiny hands and feet that kicked me were now in my hands. You were tied to me through your first cry. When you first stepped through the doors of school, my heart broke that you were growing. You looked back and waved bye. I teared down and felt as if the world wo uld end. You were tied to me through our laced hands. When you graduated high school, I knew you would change the world. You were so keen on being the best. You were a miracle to the world. You were tied to me through your smile. When you got married, I was so happy you found love. It was your day to shine. Your moment of forever with your partner. You were tied to me through something old, new, and borrowed. When I got weak, you were frightened. But you need not be. You will be more than you dream....

When you begin the journey, everyone will be against it. You're too fat, you will never lose weight. But you do. They will ask you how. When you first pick up the pen, they will laugh and say you can't learn, it's a waste of time. But you do. They will ask you how. When you first approach them with the idea, they say it's worthless. No one will like it and you can't finish without support. But you do. They will ask you how. When you first say you're getting married, they say the person you chose is a bad partner. He will hurt you and you won't find happiness. But you do. They will ask you how. Be the mystery as to "how." Never settle.

When a man loves a woman, he will respect her choices, support her goals, and love her unconditionally. He will not break her trust by being unfaithful. When a woman loves a man, she will give her heart without holding back. She will stand beside him and face all hardships together. She will not break the union by finding warmth in another's arms. When two people vow to be as one, they tie their hearts together by the vows they swear. They give a sacred item for each to proud ly bear as they tie to one another. They become one another's inspiration, hope, and strength. When a man has to wonder in the dark if she is in love with someone else, the doubt has created a crease in his feelings for her. It won't be the same. When a woman has to sleep alone and wonder where he is, the sensation of disbelief lingers in her mind. It won't be the same. When two hearts begin to deteriorate, the bind is already gone. The feeling of love is doubted and they are mere sh...

When you marry a daughter, you marry her to be of your equal. You love, respect, and honor her. You cherish her thoughts, support her dreams, and love her flaws. When you marry a son, you are his other half. You come with the key to his future and help him grow to be the man he is. You help pave his path, hold his hand, and make his house a home. When you marry a daughter, you don't tell her to choose your family over hers. She doesn't become a doormat or a burden. When you marry a son, you will leave behind a family you've known all your life. You will start with a new life and gain a new last name. It doesn't make you a guest to your own family. When you marry, you make choices that affect two lives. It is a joining of souls, love, and families. It's a time meant for happiness and joy. The union of two hearts that has come together as one. When you marry, you love the flaws and imperfections. You become each other's hopes and dreams. This is to ...

There is a blind cultural rule that women are only good if they produce children or sons. This has led a strain on many women who fight with science when their bodies cannot produce such. They are deemed unworthy. There is a blind cultural rule that women who are stay at home moms don't do any work. They are seen as uneducated and simple minded because they are not a breadwinner. There is a blind cultural rule that a Nyab should wake at the crack of dawn and sleep at dusk. Th ey must be submissive, compliant, and is only worth as much as her dowry. There is a blind cultural rule that women cannot eat at the same table as men, work the same jobs, or be as prestigious. They are considered low status and must bow. There is a blind cultural rule that women can't have friends. If she does, she is considered poj laib. How to stop this blind cultural? Start with yourself and how you respond when you come across this. Do you join in on the ridicule or do you put your fo...

Somewhere in the world: There's a woman who is hurting because at the family reunion, the same group of people have asked when she'll bear children. What they don't know is that she's been trying so long that her heart has become numb each time she sees the negative sign on the pregnancy test. Watch what you say. Somewhere in the world: There's a woman who is hurting because she's been labeled fat and laughed at by people who are family. What they don't know is that she strug gles beyond anything to shed the weight. Watch what you say. Somewhere in the world: There's a woman who no longer comes around to family functions. Everyone says its because she's so busy trying to be rich. What they don't know is that she doesn't come because she tries to hide the black and blue on her face. Watch what you say. Somewhere, someone is hurting. Watch what you say. Before you open your mouth, know that your tongue can wound with words unwise.

If someone truly loves you, he will not ask you to change. He will not ask you to mold yourself to fit his idea of perfection. He will not tell you to become his mute partner who walks behind him. He will not put you on show to humiliate you. If he does this, he does not genuinely love you. If someone truly loves you, she will not ask you to leave your friends behind. She will not misled you by feeding you lies. She will not abuse you by draining. She will not walk ahead wit hout you. If she does this, she does not genuinely love you. If someone truly loves you, he will not let you drown in tears. He will not be the reason for your tears. He will not put a hand to your body in anger. He will not destroy your wall of confidence. If he does this, he does not genuinely love you. If someone truly loves you, she will not pick anyone over you. She will never be in another's arms as you watch from the sidelines. She will not force you to choose between her and your family. If ...

True love is asking you how your day is the moment he walks in because it's the only thing he cares about. True love is not having to search for his hand in the dark because its always laced with yours. True love is pizza by candlelight when all the children have gone to bed. True love is an early text to say I love you when he left for work a mere 5 minutes ago. True love is growing young together because every day is a new beginning to an eternity.

What if...I never laid a hand on her in anger, she'd still bear my last name. We would be a family in the home we had. I would be a father to my children. What if...I hadn't replied to that email that I was single. He would not have entered my life and my marriage would be saved. I would not be lonely. What if...I had been less selfish. If I had only listened to her when she needed me to. If I had lend my shoulder, she would be in my arms. What if...I had said yes when he got down on one knee? I would be the woman with the pregnant belly, the happy life, and the love of a lifetime. What if, what if, what if...stop the what if.

A Nyab is: A woman who has parents that love her. She is a woman who has siblings who may not always agree with her, but are her best friends. She is a woman who earns the title by marrying into the family. She is a woman who has dreams, goals, and ambitions. She is educated, fierce, and intelligent. She is a mother, a daughter, and an individual. She is a fighter, a giver, and a gift. A Nyab is not: A doormat for you to use. She is not the subject on your lips to gossip. She is not invincible. She has the right to say no. She is not your punching bag. She is not deemed unworthy because she's short, big bone, or too tall. This goes out to all my sisters, friends, families, acquaintances, and people I've yet to meet. You are a worthy Nyab.

This past weekend, Houa Production spent the entire day filming a music video at a slaughterhouse in Rice County. Along with the behind the scene team, casts included Chengsue Yang, Gashia Moua, Pazoo Xiong, Nhia Pao Vang, Ko Vang, Maximus Vang, and introducing new actor, Nathaniel Vang. The weather was nice and we shot all scenes needed in that location. It was beautiful. Please follow and subscribe to get all new updates on this project. It is a music video with a potential of becoming a full length film. www.facebook.com/HouaProduction