50 Shades of Grey: Review

                How many of you were the thousands who read 50 Shades of Grey? I was. When it first came out, a niece of mine asked if I had read it. I said no and her response was, “What?! I thought, of all people, you’d be the first to read it?” So I asked her what it was about and she gave me a brief summary. I went home, looked it up at the library, and reserved myself a copy. A week later, I got the call to go pick up book one.

                The cover itself is already haunting enough that it seems to invite you in. “Come in,” it seems to say to its readers. So that’s what I did. I went in and I got sucked into a world of such unearthly pleasures that I found myself wondering if all along I was missing something from this world. First and foremost, I am a married woman. I understand the definition of pleasures created by man and woman. But writer E.L. James was willing to take it beyond anything I’d read before and she made the characters come to life on each page that I felt myself uttering living in Christian Grey’s world until I felt as exhausted as Ana did. Needless to say, I read the book in a day and a half and was impatiently waiting for book two.

                When book two arrived, I ate it up in a day and devoured book three in another day. By the time I was done, I was left exposed to Christian Grey’s world. He was a dark, mysterious, and taunting character that spoke sensuality from the tips of his fingers to his perfect skin to the breath on his tongue. Yeah, I was hooked and was gone the moment I read his name.

                So when I heard the book was turning into a film, I thought, “Oh my God! This is going to be so great!” I think the biggest mistake I made was hoping that the Christian Grey in my mind was going to be casted. No one, I mean, no one on earth looks like the Christian Grey in my mind, and I think I speak for every woman when I say that. So when the production announced the actors, I sat back and thought, “That’s it?!” I’m sure hundreds, or maybe I should say thousands, of women all across America stated the same thing. We were wondering if these two actors could do the book justice. We were wondering if they could bring to life the love affair that tortured our souls and mind as it did on the pages of the book. At first, I thought to myself that this is going to be a big mistake because Jamie looks nothing like the one I pictured in my head and Dakota is nowhere near what I had in mind. But as soon as I saw the trailer, I felt as if every fiber of my being was pulled into the computer screen until I felt I couldn’t breathe. As a writer myself, I literally knocked myself on the head and repeated the phrase: “Never judge a book by its cover.”

                So I have to stress to you before you watch the film. PLEASE READ THE BOOKS!! I’ve heard so many people say to me, “That’s how it ended? That’s dumb.” I end up rolling my eyes and say, “There are 3 books. Go read it and then figure out why it ended that way.” Yes, the film will never be the same way the book is written, which is why you have to read the book. If you were hoping for a dirty, romp, hard love making where you were left breathless until you thought your bones were going to be bled dry, you might find you were in for a different taste. Some have called it cheap porno; some have said it wasn’t enough; some have said it was nowhere near sexy. I say, just read the book, be thankful there were actors who were willing to play such daring roles, and appreciate both for being there for your viewing.

                I was going to watch it alone, but my husband attended with me at the last moment. We sat in the dark theater for two hours and watched as the magic written on each page unfolded before my eyes. First things first and this is probably the most important thing: THE SOUNDTRACK IS TO DIE FOR!! The music is as seductive, possessive, and sleek as the story is. I just about melted in my seat as I listened to the lyrics that poured out, drenched in sweat and sultry as the aching voices reached out to us. I told myself mentally that I need to get my hands on the soundtrack so that each time I play it, I can be reminded of how harmonious I felt when I first heard it.

                Now, let’s get down to the actors and the characters they portrayed. Dakota Johnson was quite a performer. Yes, when I first saw her, I thought, oh no. But Ana was supposed to be sinless, pure, and ahem, virginal. So when the film opened up and it showed how clumsy she was right up until she fell on all fours into Christian’s office, I smiled and knew why she was casted. Her look was simple, very natural, no mess, no frills kind of girl. I really enjoyed her biting her lip scenes. Even I was affected because she did it exactly the way the Ana in my mind performed it.

                Jamie, oh Jamie, wow…now let me get a bit of solace here first. Ok, so he didn’t have as much muscle mass as I had hoped he would. I wanted large biceps, six pack abs, and a deeper tone of voice. But what happened on the screen before me? An immaculate, sublime, and soul sucking man with eyes that pierced into my soul. How he worked his fingers, his tongue, and his movement just made the Christian in my mind leap to life. I was more than satisfied with his role than I thought I would be.

                The story itself was, of course, not as it is in the book. Of course, if we were to film each scene as it was written, it might be a little bit heavy. There were 14 parts, on my count, that were missing. But I am overtly pleased that they DID NOT film the tampon scene. For those of you who have read the book, you understand what I mean. For those of you have not read it, I am not explaining. Do your homework. Yes, there were some parts that weren’t done exactly as how I pictured. For example, their first initial meeting; I would have preferred it if she had stumbled over putting the recorder on the table and asking him if he was ok with her recording him. His response was, “After you’ve gone to so much trouble setting up the recorder, you ask me this now?” Yeah, I would have liked to have seen that.

                The playroom, oh my, the playroom was a vision to see. The little instruments to the exquisite touch of the red color, made it so alive and so exotic. The canopy bed, the ceiling, the whips and chains, and the drawers full of unworldly pleasures. The way how E.L. James had described it came to life in a way that I never thought possible. It was an amazing sight to witness.

                Charlie Tango, Escala, The Heathman, Jose, Kate, even Taylor was created perfectly that matched how I had imagined it from my mind. The entire family from Elliot, Mia, Carrick, to Grace and to Ray, Bob, and Ana’s mother was down to the T. It was a perfect design that I had a holy smokes moment when each actor came onto the scene and revealed who was playing who. I had the time of my life adoring each member of the story.

                So…50 Shades of Grey was quite a stir among our lives. It made us all turn upside down and inside out for the film; it made us chuckle silently in the darkness of the theaters; it also lingered a feeling of pure madness into our souls. In summation, I think Christian Grey bled into us a piece of his tortured mind and soul.