Beating As One Chapter 1

            “I’m here. Let’s talk about this,” Jed said as he stared into Anne’s eyes.

            They were standing underneath the bleachers as the football players made their way back into the gym. The weather was wet for an October afternoon and Anne was beginning to regret wearing her black skirt. She was cold and Jed’s eyes told her he cared nothing about her being cold. He wanted answers and he wasn’t going to let her go until he received them. Anne Ly was a good girl who listened to her parents and devoted her time to school and friends. But she never thought she would find herself in a situation where she was trapped. For the first time in her life, she was scared of what her future would bring and she had no idea what she was going to do. It wasn’t just about her and Jed now. It now included a child growing in her belly.

            “Is that all you have to say?” Anne snapped back. “You’re not the one carrying the baby.”

            He grabbed her shoulder. “What does that mean? I told you I’d do anything.”

            She pulled away from him. “Right and then you announce to the world that you got the football scholarship. What does that mean to me? You promised me you’d do everything for me and for the baby. Now you’re just so determined to prove to your damn coach that you can make it pro-ball. How do you think that makes me feel?”

            Jed’s dark eyes filled with tears and then he walked away from her. When he turned back around, he ran his hands through his hair. Anne could see that the last two weeks had taken a toll on him. She never saw him laughing around with his friends in the hallway anymore. He was merely going through classes. She knew because she felt the same way. She’d made excuses after excuses when her friends called her to shop or to hang out. At eighteen, never did she imagine herself as a mother.

            “Anne, I love you, I do. When I made love to you, I knew what I was doing. I knew that if something happened, I was willing to step up and take that responsibility. But then…this happened with my scholarship and I can’t…it’s what I’ve been dreaming since I was ten. How do I give that up?” Jed asked.

            Anne bit her lower lip and felt her inside tremble. Before she could help it, the tears escaped and when he reached out to hold her, she backed up. She felt humiliated and used. She felt the anger shoot up and she began pounding him with her fists. He grabbed her hands and held them as she sobbed.

            “You said you’d take care of me!” Anne cried.

            “And I will! Just let me figure a way out, ok? Your life isn’t the one that is changing. It’s mine too.”

            “What? You think I didn’t have dreams? You think I didn’t want to go to college? Well screw you, Jed!”

            “Stop it! You’re angry and you’re letting it speak instead of how you really feel. I’m sorry, ok? I didn’t mean to make it sound as if I was the only one whose life was changing. It’s both of ours, I know that. Just give me some time and I’ll figure something out. I promise you. I won’t let you go through this alone. I love you, Anne.”

            She pulled away from him. “No, you just stay away from me, Jed. I want you out of my life!”

            He grabbed her arm. “Don’t do that.”

            She jerked her arm free. “Stay away from me! You want this football scholarship so go for it. I’m not going to be the reason for your regrets later in life. So you do what you have to do be happy.”

            “Don’t walk away from me, Anne. You’re making this harder than it is.”

            “No, I’m not, Jed. I’m giving you what you truly want and desire. You want to play football and so I’m going to give that to you. I can raise this child alone and I’ll be happy because I’ll have a part of you.”

            Jed shook his head. “Is that enough?”

            Anne shrugged. “I don’t know, but I know that I don’t want someone who will blame me for not allowing them to have their dream. I won’t allow that to happen to my child either. Good-bye, Jed.”

 

            It was quiet in her room as Anne lay there thinking about how she was going to break the news to her parents. As their youngest, they treasured her above all else and she knew that it would break their hearts. She had spent all afternoon crying and wondering if she’d done the right thing by breaking it off with Jed. She loved him so much, but she could already see the future. He would blame her and she didn’t want that. She’d seen enough with her parents and she didn’t want a marriage like that. If he loved her, he wouldn’t make her feel the way he did. She turned to her side and her hand fell to her belly. A smile came to her face as she thought of her little unborn child. She’d been really weepy lately and she was also a month and a half late. She immediately knew something wasn’t right and when she saw the big plus sign looking back at her, she knew. Her life was going to change whether she was ready for it or not.

            Telling Jed hadn’t been what she’d hoped it would be. First, he had laughed and thought she was joking. But when she broke into tears, he realized she was telling the truth. When she tried to leave, he held her and promised to take care of her. She’d felt loved, safe, and blessed…until today at the football game when he made the public announcement that he had been accepted to Stanford on a full football scholarship. It was a surprise for her because she’d had no idea. Why would she risk letting him give up his dream for her?

            Anne wiped her eyes and reached to turn up the volume on the radio when she heard a tapping at her window. She walked over and lifted the blue curtains to reveal Jed standing outside. She gulped down sadness and opened her window, letting in the cool air. He walked to her window and stuck his head in. In the past, how many times had he visited her this way? How many times had he stuck his head in only to meet her lips? She stared at him as he watched her gaze and then he slipped inside her room. When he closed the window and turned around, she suddenly felt shy. Things weren’t the same between them anymore and she didn’t know how to fix it. She turned away, but he grabbed her waist and held her. Anne closed her eyes, feeling his warmth creep up to her heart and let out a soft breath. He held her like that for a long time before he turned her around and cupped her face. His eyes were soft and held the love she always saw in them. He ran his thumb across her lower lip and she closed her eyes. When she did, he leaned over and kissed her lips. When he pulled away, she found herself shaking.

            “I came here to tell you that I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

            Anne opened her mouth to talk, but he placed his fingers on them, silencing her.

            “Just listen to me, please, Anne. I want you to know that I love you more than anything in this world. And if I can’t have you then any life goal I’ve set for myself isn’t worth going after. I know that we’re young and this is a scary road we’ll be traveling down, but I am willing to do all that. I am willing to do all that because I love you and I want to share my life with you.”

            He placed his hand on her belly and she sucked in a breath. “This little one here is the creation of our love. If I were to leave you now, what does that say about me? My father raised me to be a man, not a coward. I take responsibilities for my actions. I don’t leave the crime scene. I want to be a part of everything that happens from now on.”

            Anne’s eyes filled with tears as she ran her hands up his arms. “Jed, if you do this, there’s no turning back. Football won’t be there for you anymore. I’m afraid that one day if things don’t go as we plan, you might blame me for taking you away from your dream.”

            He touched her cheek. “How can I blame you when I made the choice to leave? I thought it through and through, Anne. A child is more important to me than football. With a child, I have the ability to shape his world into something so much more. Besides, playing football with him would be something I can cherish.”

            “Do you promise me that you will never blame me?”

            “I promise.”