My New Life: Chapter 1

 

It's raining today...outside of my window, I can see the white picket fence of my neighbor's and a squirrel is sitting there, dangling its tail, staring at me. I know winter is coming and so does he. He's preparing for the long winter and collecting what he needs; smart guy. Beyond the neighbor's house is the lush mountain that a week ago was all green and today is looking a mixture of crimson and orange, a flush of beautiful colors announcing the arrival of Autumn and to prove its season is here, scattered on the dying grass are leaves from the trees, reminding me to let go. 

This is my new life in a brand new place in a brand new world in a brand new state. I drove the 16 hours with my husband 1,000 miles across the country to a small town called Williamsport, where it is known for lumber and a place where neighbors yell out at you, "Holler if ya'll need me!" I am home. I often wonder why it took me this long to be here. 

This new chapter of my life consists of removing toxic, negative thoughts and people who have outstayed their visit in my life. For so long, I allowed them to because some of them are family, and I thought it was safe. Little, did I know, how exhausting it would be and how hurt I would end up. When the news of my move spread to these people, their first question was, "Why are you running away?" Honestly, if I was running, you'd never know about it. You'd just find out about it months later. But I am moving forward...without you and that is what is bothering you so much. Sometimes, we need to let our greatest enemy know that we are not afraid to live without them. And they are only existing because they believe we fear them. In reality, we do not have a thought in our head to include them. 

I want to remind you all this. Never be afraid of taking a new adventure. Even if that were to mean you'd have to venture out to a place where you've never been before. I look back at all our missed opportunities and realized, we held back so long because we thought there was something there for us. In the end, we were proved that our existence didn't matter at all. Sometimes, you have to create an emptiness for certain people for them to understand the value of you. Sadly, this is more often than we think. 

In this new dinky little vintage town, I have found my  happiness. I wake to the mountains every morning and I drink my morning coffee while watching the fog rise. My mind is full of peace and my heart is filled with joy. Normally, when I leave a place, I always have tender feelings. Yet this time, I left without feeling broken and whole as this was a new beginning. 

At our farewell party some of our loved ones threw us, I will always remember this saying from a dear sister in law's husband: "People are going to be watching you. They're going to say, 'Look at those two damn fools, running off, thinking they're better than us. Let's watch them fail.' You gotta remember to stick it through and give them a reason to envy you because you could do what they could not do." 

And that's exactly what I'm going to do.