Back to School

2019 school has begun. This year, I have a 5th grader, 3rd grader, and a fresh new Kindergartner. This time of year reminds me of my childhood. It always makes me emotional because my parents could not drive like other parents. And when I was growing up, my mother walked me to school on some days. I remember she would be sitting across the school with her black umbrella waiting for me to come out. When she sent me to school in the mornings, she'd stand across the street and watch me enter the building and then walk home alone. My father had a wooden leg put in from an injury to war, so it was mainly my mother who walked us to and from school. I always looked forward to seeing her standing there waiting for me to come out. It gave me hope that I wasn't alone.

When I got married, and I came to my wedding, a few of my relatives said that they missed her presence waiting for me at the school grounds. It made me cry. This year marks the 3rd year that my mother has passed and the 2nd year that my father has passed. I find myself beginning to become my mother and father in more ways than one. For one, I'm already outside waiting for my kids when I know their bus is on the way home. I can't wait to hug them and I can't wait to hear about their day at school. I'm an emotional wreck from the long quiet hours even though I still have other kids at home. I am now living in my parents' shoes and my heart is squeezing together the emotions they did at one time.

School was a time where my parents always made sure a hot meal was prepared for us when we got home. School was a time where my mother would wake me half an hour early just to make sure I would be ready. School was a time where I missed my parents dearly. School is now a time where I miss my kids dearly and I make sure a hot meal is ready for them when they are home. It is such a beautiful cycle, life that is.