Dellana

Dellana

            They say that love can come your way at any given point in life. Whether you are prepared or not, it will hit you. Sometimes it comes softly and gives you subtle hints and you’re left wondering if it was true love. Then, at other times, it hits you so hard you’re physically swept off your feet. One thing I know for sure is that when I met Connor, I was swept hard away. I’d always been the quiet friend who held purses while the other girls walked off with guys to dance. I wore geeky glasses and I wasn’t very well developed when it came to body parts, even at the age of 30. I had wondered if I would be alone for the rest of my life. Then love came my way without any warning and I ended up falling in love deeper than I ever expected.

            Love is like a thief. It slithers into your heart without you noticing and takes away the one thing you thought belonged to you, your heart. You become a wallowing shadow without any purpose and it stings to even breathe. By the time you realize it’s love, you’re in so deep, you’re trapped. It’s an unholy alliance to some for it breaks barriers and hearts. But to me, it was the most pure thing on earth, my one true holy grail that I found to be of my sole purpose on earth. I found peace and it brought me to a level of understanding of myself that I never knew possible.

            But all this comes later in the story. First, you’ll need to understand who I was and why I was the way I was. Then you’ll understand why my heart swelled when he came along.

 

Dellana

            The blaring of the alarm woke me up from my deep sleep and I rolled over, groaning. It was already Monday and I didn’t get to enjoy the weekend. I was exhausted, beyond restless and in no shape to go to work. My eyes were so heavy and I felt as if I had been hit by a train. Well, no train physically, but I had spent the weekend tearing down the wall paper in my small cottage home and repainting the walls. My finger nails were crusted with dry paint and I realized that I’d gone to bed in my overalls without showering from exhaustion. Running dirty fingers through my short dark strands, I let out a long breath. The second warning alarm went off and I swore as I reached over and silenced it.

            Downtown St. Paul was always a little busy in the mornings with people rushing to work and those who were already late. I worked at my Aunt’s flower shop on the corner of University and Barstow. She’d been in business for over ten years and after college, which I had gone against everyone’s wishes and majored in Political Science, I found myself jobless. My aunt offered me a job and I took it. That was when I was 24 and I recently just turned 30. I didn’t mind the job because it was simple and I didn’t have to talk to people. My aunt did all the talking. I did all the packaging in the back.

            When I arrived, my aunt was already in muttering about lost packages. I took my coat off and had just hung it when she came around the corner. My aunt, Kate, was 45, divorced, hot and successful. Did she need a man? Not really, but she was still on the prowl for what she called, “the one.” She was tall and thin unlike my mother who had been short and curvy. I wished I had her genes but I inherited my mother’s. But when I lost my mother and I looked in the mirror, I was kind of glad I had her genes. It was sort of a way of looking at her in the mirror at times.

            “What’s wrong?” I asked.

            She laughed and pointed to an opened box. “That is what’s wrong. The damn man sent me over six dozen bent roses. He claims it’s not his fault he got into an accident and everything was spilled and ruined. God damn. I’ve got a wedding this weekend and these were supposed to be kept here to sprout in time. Now I’ll have to replace them and wait another 24 hours before they arrive. I just hope they open by the time Sunday arrives.”

            I went to the box and saw the damaged roses. I cringed and looked up at my aunt who was fuming. She turned her back to me as she dialed the phone and started asking for management. I picked up the box and brought it to the back where it would be out of sight. I began taking the roses out one by one and laying them on the counter. Some were still in good condition while others were bent out of shape. I heard the doorbell ding and then my aunt poked her head in.

“Dellana, please go take care of the customer. I’m sorry, but I’ve got a million things to do and I’ll need you up front today.” I paled and she saw it. “I’m sorry, I know you’re not used to it, but you know every single flower in here. Please. Just do it.”

She left and I gulped. My feet were glued to where I stood until I heard the customer service bell ring once, twice, thrice. I forced my feet to walk forward and I found a man standing with his back to me. He wore a black leather jacket and was very tall. I walked up behind the counter, pushed my glasses up my nose and cleared my throat. He turned around and our eyes met. He had the most pleasant brightness in his eyes that made me want to stare into them. His lips were full, sensual and his jawline was chiseled to perfection. A strong aroma of spice spiraled toward me and as he walked toward the counter with a suave stance, I found myself backing up. His alpha male presence made me twitch in so many places that I never knew existed. He was beyond anything I’d ever seen. I found it hard to breathe and then he smiled. I lost my balance and dropped to my knees.

“Are you ok?” he asked in a deep baritone voice that was like rich silk. Standing up, feeling embarrassed and stupid, I cleared my throat and nodded. I clumsily grabbed a pen and notepad on the counter. I flipped it twice until I found a new piece of order form. He watched me the entire time and I was shaking as I tried to avoid eye contact.

“You…you’re here to place an order?” I whispered.

“Uh…yeah. Is there anyone else working here?” I finally looked up and realized his question was asked because I probably appeared to be out of whack and didn’t know how to take orders. I cleared my throat and pushed my glasses up.

“I can take your order, sir. What would you like?” I said more sternly.

The confidence in me must have assured him because he started speaking. “I’d like something simple. I don’t want roses. They’re too romantic.”

“How about lilies?” He made a face. I pulled my shoulders back. “Daisies?” His eyes lit up. I smiled. “Yellow daisies? I think they’re the simplest of flowers. If you’re shooting for simple, I’d go for those.”

He nodded and then smiled, which made my heart swell. “Ok, you just sold me on that. I’d like a dozen. I don’t need a card.”

“Got it. Hold on a moment.” I walked off to the backroom and gathered up the dozen daisies we had available. I came back and took the light beige wax paper and the barn string with me. When I returned to the counter, he was watching as I wrapped the daisies up and then tied the barn string to keep the wax paper in place. I handed it to him and he smiled.

“Hey, that’s pretty creative. How much do I owe you?”

“That’ll be 20.99.” He handed me his credit card and I glanced at his name. Connor Anders. I ran it and had him sign it. As I handed it back to him, I avoided our fingers brushing. He gave me a salute, picked up the daisies and left. I finally let out the breath I was holding and crumbled to the floor in a heated rush.

 

Connor

            I was tired today and although it was supposed to be a day of celebrating, I just couldn’t find the heart to smile at everyone in the office. They were throwing congratulations in my face and swapping my back for winning the offer to design the new stadium downtown. But my feet were heavy and my heart was full of anger. Even the pretty daisies in my hands were now ugly. I rushed past the crowd and into the silence of my office where I dropped the daisies on my desk. They looked like they were laughing at me so I tossed them into the garbage. I sat down and pinched the bridge of my nose. My headache was getting worse as I thought about what had just happened. How could I not see it? How could I have missed all the signs? My inner voice laughed at me and I rubbed my temples. Ok, so I had been working extremely hard and long hours since I put a bid in for the contract. I’d been sleeping in my office at times and waking up to freshen up in my spare bathroom. Then I would continue on the day’s work without even phoning home.

            Then, today, I went home to surprise her with the yellow simple daisies and I found her packing with him waiting for her in the living room. My blood boiled and I saw red. But when she tearfully explained that I hadn’t been around for months and I pushed her away into another man’s arms, I had to rethink about what I had done wrong. But I loved her the entire time I was absent. Didn’t that account for anything?

            The door to my office opened and my friend and colleague, Joe Grant, entered wearing a black suit and gray tie. He had a smile on his handsome face as his blue eyes held happiness. He closed the door and clapped his hands together, happier than I’d ever seen him. He wasn’t a bad man, but he wasn’t good either. He’d lost two great wives and was working on wooing a third. I don’t think I’ll agree to be his best man again if he should decide to marry this one.

            “What’s the sad puppy look for? Dude, you won the bid!” Joe said as he pulled out a chair and sat down. He ran a hand through his sandy hair and planted one of his million dollar smiles on his face. But I felt nothing. I shoved myself to my feet and looked out the window from the 20^th floor. The view did nothing today to clear my foggy head.

            “What’s wrong?” Joe asked.

            I turned around. “Sheila left me.”

            Joe’s smile disappeared and he leaned back in his chair. “Oh, shit, man. I’m sorry to hear that. I didn’t realize you were having problems.”

            “I didn’t either.”

            “Cold blow, huh?”

            “He was there at my house waiting for her as she packed.”

            Joe whistled and shook his head. “At least when my ex-wives left me, it was because I was an asshole and not because of another man.”

            “Gee thanks, Joe, this is making me feel a hell of a lot better. Would you like to hang my neck in a noose while you’re at it too?”

            Joe stood and raised his hands in surrender. “Sorry, buddy, didn’t mean to walk on fragile ground.” He lowered his hands. “Look, why don’t you take the day off and go rest at home. You won the bid and that’s what we can work on in the next few weeks to get your mind off of her. I know you’ve been working hard for it.”

            “That’s just it. I’ve been working hard and that’s why she left. In her own words, I was an absent partner.”

            “This shit burns, it does, buddy. But I promise you that it’ll blow over and you’ll be like new again.” He turned to go and then saw the daisies in the garbage can. He picked them up and looked up at me. “Hey, can I take these to my girl?”

 

           

 

Dellana

            I spent a majority of my lunch time stirring the tomato soup I’d packed earlier today and thinking about the stranger who had captured my heart. I had never had any kind of moment like that before and long after he left, I was still buzzing from the heat of his presence. I could still smell his fragrance and I longed to see into his eyes again. Connor. That name will haunt me for the rest of my life.

            “If you stir it any longer, I promise you it’ll start to eat itself,” Kate said as she entered the small room we used as a lunch area and break room. I straightened and cleared my throat, forcing myself to take a spoonful of what was now cold tomato soup. She pulled out a chair and sat down; taking out the salad she’d packed. She watched me and I pushed my glasses up my nose.

            “Sweetie, I saw that man. He was hot enough to melt the Artic continent. You don’t have to hide anything from me. Any person who didn’t react to his charm would have to be blind.”

            “It’s just foolish wishing,” I whispered. “He’d never look at me anyway.”

            She took her fork in her hand, but didn’t eat. She stared at me and then shrugged. “Who knows, a little makeup and new hair might do some justice. If you’re serious about getting a man, Dellana, I’d say start with that. You have great skin, always did, thanks to your mother. But the rest might just need some little tweaking.”

I frowned. “I’m too tired to keep up with the maintenance.”

“Well, sometimes a little maintenance goes a long way to getting the man you want. You know, natural beauty is just not what we are all born with. Some of us need a little help.”

“I need a lot of help.”

She took a forkful of her salad and chewed. “Why are you so hard on yourself? You’re a smart woman, Dellana.”

“Right. That’s the first thing guys go for, a smart woman. Usually, they want the sexy, long legs, big breasted chick who can do weird things in bed.”

Kate laughed. “Weird things…what weird things? What have you been reading?”

“Nothing. I’m just…guessing what men want.”

“Oh, honey, you’re so innocent I find it funny. Trust me, men don’t always go for things like that. Granted, those women are our competition, but they don’t last very long. Sooner or later, they end up coming back for the smart women. Well, the assholes don’t, but the right men do. Chin up.”

After lunch, I continued packing the flowers in the back into the fridge and labeling them as I went. I heard my aunt tend to customers throughout the day and I prayed that I never had to wait on another customer again. But then I found that each time the doorbell dinged, I looked out in the hopes that it was Connor coming back to order another batch of daisies. But it was always the opposite.

When the day came to an end, I gave my aunt a hug good-bye and walked the two blocks to my small cottage house. The wind was brutal as the evening was catching up. Winter in Minnesota was like a woman. It was either snowing like crazy or sunny as heck. It never made up its mind. I reached my cottage and took my key out to open the door. I heard the garage door opening next door and I saw my neighbor drive his black Ford into it. I ignored it as he wasn’t a very nice man. He sometimes swore at people who walked too close to his front yard. He was a young man, but he was as grumpy as an old man.

I entered my house, locked the door and took my coat off. I walked to the kitchen and pulled open the fridge wondering what to make for dinner. This was my routine day in and day out. I came home and I came to ask the biggest question: What was for dinner? I usually ate standing in the kitchen and as much as it was sad, I was so used to it, I became numb.

Was my life always this way? No. I was once happy. Before my mother died, before my father left, before Rick embarrassed me in front of two hundred people. My mother dying, I was still healing from and I knew that as time passed, as much as it hurt, I would be able to face the day. My father leaving, it didn’t bother me because I was too young to care and my mother was more of a father for me. But Rick leaving me at the alter while he ran off on a honeymoon with a blonde…that would never leave me. I could never get over that. It was the one thing that held me back from falling in love again. I was afraid. He took my self-esteem and he crushed it into tiny pieces. He broke me into a fragile woman and left me bitter to the point of no existence. I lost my entire way and I fought blind to where I am now.

Seeing Connor today reminded me of how I used to feel. My heart had beat rapidly and I felt myself become a woman, feeling lingering pleasure in places I thought had gone cold. But I knew, I knew right away that a man who looked like him would never see me as anything but just a strange woman. I was too scared because Rick had the same status in life as Connor did. He was the handsome, tall and rich man who could get any girl he wanted. But he had asked me out and I was thrilled. He had seen me or so I thought. Until the day I dressed in my wedding gown and stood at the alter waiting for my absent groom. As the seconds turned into minutes and the minutes became longer, I knew right away that I would never be a bride. The two hundred people who showed up looked at me with pity and I lost every brave part of me. It was the hardest day of my life to remember and it had been six years since. But a heart that was broken had no way to go home without a guiding hand.

I woke with a start from the alarm again. I had slept better and was well rested. I dressed in a plain gray sweater and black slacks. As I pulled on my coat and headed outside, I heard the neighbor honking his horn at a few kids that were playing in the street. I shook my head as I started walking toward the flower shop. I arrived to find it dark. I opened up and flicked on the lights. A few moments later, my aunt came in shivering from the cold. She drove and I walked. That was the funny part.

“Cold morning,” she said as she rubbed her hands together. I just smiled as I walked to the front door to unlock and to my amazement found Connor standing there. My hands froze in midair as he caught my gaze. When I didn’t move, he gestured to the door and I finally remembered what I had been trying to do. I unlocked the door and he walked in. He took a look around and then turned to meet my gaze.

“I’m sorry I’m so early. But I need a bouquet of flowers,” he said in a desperate tone.

“Sure. What are you looking for?” I noticed his eyes didn’t hold the same pleasant light as they did yesterday. In fact, he looked completely different today. He hadn’t shaved and he looked as if he hadn’t slept a wink.

“I need something that would make a woman think twice about leaving.” My heart stung by those words and I swallowed hard. He was taken. Of course he was taken. He didn’t look the way he did to be single. I pushed the idea of him trying to woo me away and walked to the counter.

“Well, let’s work on a few details then; color, type and quantity.”

He walked to the counter. “Big, bigger than big…uh I want roses. I know yesterday I said they were too romantic, but today I want them. Lots of roses, but not in red. What’s a good color for saying you’re sorry?”

I thought a moment. “White is never wrong.”

He smiled a small smile. “All right, white roses, buckets of white roses. I want them delivered to this address.” He pulled out a wad of paper and handed it to me. “Please get them delivered today before noon. I’ll pay extra.” Before I could answer, he reached out and took my hands in his. “Please…it’s important.”

I found myself staring at the front door of the address Connor had provided. Inside the van were three dozen white roses in silver buckets. I walked out of the van and opened the back door to retrieve the roses. I had just walked up to the front porch when the door flew open and a man walked out wearing a black silk robe. He had a black mustache and very dark angry eyes. His dark hair was standing in different directions as he marched to me.

“Who the hell are you?” he demanded.

“Uh…delivery for a Miss Sheila Jones?” I asked.

He laughed. “That sick phony bastard! Get those flowers out of here. She doesn’t want him anymore. He should stop this before I call the cops.” Before I could say a word, he knocked the roses out of my hands and kicked the buckets toward the end of the pathway. I bent down to pick them up when he swung his foot and it accidentally connected to my jaw. I fell over and my world buzzed with blurred images. I heard a car door slamming and I could make out Connor’s voice yelling. My jaw felt as if it had been ripped open. I tasted blood and the pain tore me apart literally. I felt myself being pulled to a standing position and I realized it was Connor helping me up. I could see that his lips were moving and arguing with the man with the mustache, but I heard no audio. Then I saw a pretty blonde run out with a white robe on. She came to stand in between the two men and shoved Connor away. Then I felt myself feeling weak and I fell into a dark sleep.

 

Connor

The aunt was giving me the evil eye for the hundredth time. The girl, whose name I came to know was Dellana, was now just waking. The poor girl had been delivering my order and the sick bastard had kicked her. It just made my blood boil that Sheila would choose that kind of man. I felt pretty bad for I had sent her there and after she fainted, I took her back to her flower shop. Her aunt wasn’t pleased to learn the story. And I had turned out looking like an asshole.

“Take it slow,” she was saying as Dellana tried to sit up. “God, your jaw is bruised. If anything is hurt permanently, I’ll be suing.” As she said this, she stared straight at me.

“I’m ok,” Dellana said wincing. “It was an accident.”

“I don’t care!” the aunt said.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

The aunt turned to me. “You shut up.”

“Aunt Kate! It wasn’t his fault. Stop blaming him. I’m sure he feels pretty bad himself.”

“I do,” I admitted. “I never expected that to go this way. Please, accept my apology.”  I could see that her skin had bruised and I’m sure she would be in a lot of pain. My inside was still boiling when I thought back to how Sheila’s stupid new beau had kicked her. Whether he did it on accident or deliberately, it still made me fume. I watched as she sat up and took several deep breaths. Her aunt had taken her glasses off and I noticed for the first time how green her eyes were. Behind her glasses, it faded and I had failed to see them the first time I met her. I saw that she ran a shaking hand through her dark strands. Her aunt handed her the glasses and she placed it on her face, hiding her beautiful eyes. She looked up at me and my gut wrenched with guilt.

“Stop looking at me like that,” she said without warning.

“How am I looking at you?”

“With pity and I hate it,” she said with stern confidence.

Swallowing hard, I relaxed my face. “I’m sorry.”

“And stop saying you’re sorry. It’s not you who kicked me.”

“I know, but I still feel responsible.”

“Oh, I’m not letting you off the hook completely. You sent me there knowing I might see an angry new lover.” I had to smile and then the strangest thing happened. Her face lit up and I found my heart slam against my chest. What the hell? The littlest happiness that shined through her and it made me feel an emotion I couldn’t really describe. What the hell was that? I got up and walked closer to her. As I did, her aunt’s protection shield came on and she stepped forward.

“That’s as far as you’ll come,” her aunt said.

“I wasn’t going to bite,” I said with a joking laugh. Then I saw how the situation was and retracted. “Bad timing for jokes.”

“You think?” her aunt frowned.

“Aunt Kate, I’m ok. Can you give me moment alone with him?” The aunt made a face, not really happy at her niece’s request, but she couldn’t deny her either. She stared at me one more time before she left. I let out the breath I was holding and relaxed suddenly. The idea of a woman with her aunt’s expression staring at me made me feel as if I was being judged. Wait, I was being judged.

“Please forgive my aunt,” she said. “She’s very protective of me.”

“Isn’t that what your mother is for?”

“My mother is dead.”

“Ah, shit,” I said as I realized my day was getting shitter as the moment ticked on. I didn’t know what to say as she stared at me with those green puppy eyes of hers. I just ran a hand through my hair and pulled out a chair to sit.

“I’m not very good at this.”

“Not good at what? Talking? Yeah, every word out of your mouth has been a bad joke or an insensitive mockery to a painful memory.”

I felt my face burn. “That about wraps up my day.”

She crossed her arms and stared at me for a long time before speaking. “Why did you send me there?”

I felt my throat close up. Why? Because I wanted to look desperate? Because I wanted to win her back? Because I wanted to embarrass her with an outrageous amount of flowers? But in the end, what came out of my mouth was nowhere as smart as what I had thought. “I was looking to start a fight.”

Her eyes flared open and she scoffed loudly. “And here I thought you were the decent man. When you came in this morning to buy all those flowers, I thought, oh my, he’s so romantic. This early and he’s buying someone dozens of roses. And you were only looking to start a fight? Here’s the eye opener, pretty boy, I got the brunt of the fight you were looking to start and I’ve got the bruise to prove it.”

I winced. “Don’t you think I feel bad about it? I didn’t expect him to hurt you. I thought he’d just stand there and be stunned silent about my stupid actions. But when he started kicking the buckets and then you, I…I came out to help.”

“Wow, what a big hero you turned out to be.”

 

Dellana

            I watched him leave the flower shop and my inside cringed. This man who I thought was the most handsome man alive was fighting demons worse than me. I felt sorry for him, really, even though I loathed the idea of someone thinking that way of me. But the look of pure pity in his eyes as he laid out his heart to me made me realize looks were deceiving. I had watched as his eyes turned sour at the mention of his ex-lover and I knew exactly how he felt. I knew what it was like to not be enough for someone. He was bitter and battling a loss deeper than I imagined. His voice had gotten flat as he described to me how he only did everything for her and how everything to her meant nothing.

            My feelings for him were beginning to take shape and molding into something frightening. At first, it was just a crush because his face was handsome and he carried an aura about him that made it special. But as I learned about who he was, how deeply tortured he was by the loss of a woman, I came to the sudden realization that I could not allow myself to fall in love with such a man. He held too much damage and I would be the rebound to get over someone if I should choose to want him. Did I even see the girl he had lost? I held nothing when it came to her. She was exactly what I described to my aunt, long legs, big boobs, blonde and a body like a model. I was nothing in comparison. So when he made a promise to come back to check up on me, I told him to not come back because I did not need to be pampered by a guilty conscious.

            My jaw was pounding as I poured two painkillers into my palm and swallowed them. My aunt came around the corner of the break room and her eyes told me everything I already knew. “Don’t worry, Aunt Kate. He’s not going to come back.”

            “Oh, him not coming back is not what I’m worried about. What scares me is that right now that little skin between your shoulder blades is beginning to itch and you’re going to need someone to scratch it soon. I’m afraid I know who it might be.”

            I laughed. “Really, Aunt Kate, do you have no trust in me?”

            “It’s not you I don’t trust, sweetheart. It’s him and what he can do to make you lose trust in yourself.” 

            What my aunt said was like a spell on me as I laid in my room later that night with a pounding jaw. I knew she was right. I knew that in some sort of way, if he came on strong, I wouldn’t be able to resist him. That was my problem. I was weak when it came to the heart and if someone pleaded enough, I caved. That’s how I got into trouble with Rick and how I ended up being solo. I shut my eyes and tried to close my mind, but it was so loud. Everything was so loud and as much as I tried to enter silence, I knew my mind was too awake to be shut off. This was going to be a problem and as I feared, my heart was already trembling as I thought about those dark eyes that poured into mine.

            I woke the next morning with a swollen cheek and I called in to my aunt telling her that I was not fit to work today. She understood and said she would stop by at noon to check up on me. As I showered under hot water, letting it slide down my aching body, my mind flashed back to yesterday. Did it really happen? It did and the pain throbbing in my jaw was proof enough that I had spent a morning trapped between a quarrel of ex-lovers.

            I dressed in my gray sweat pants and oversized black sweater. They were my comfort items to wear when I felt like the world had crashed down on me. I was in too much pain to care that I didn’t even rinse all the conditioner from my hair and that my walls needed tending. With this pain pulsing, I was sure I wouldn’t get to my walls until another week from now. I sat down on the couch and stared at the unfinished project I’d put off for the entire summer. It was winter and I decided to do it on a whim. How smart I truly was. No matter how much I stared at the walls, I knew that they wouldn’t finish itself. If I put it off today, tomorrow would be the same. Groaning, I got up and went to change into my overalls.

            At noon, I heard the door open and I saw my aunt walk in shaking snow off of her hat. Odd, I was so busy working I didn’t even glance outside. When I did, sure enough, snow was falling lightly. I got off the ladder as she removed her boots. She stared at me and then the mess before us.

            “I came expecting to find you in bed from your injury not redoing your living room walls,” she said.

            “Well, I figured I might as well because I had put it off all summer long.”

            As if she read my mind, she said, “How smart.”

            I rolled my eyes and put my tools down. “Are you busy there today?”

            She unzipped her coat and hung it over the couch. She laughed and then she looked up at me with her blue eyes. “One guess as to who came in today.”

            I froze and she nodded knowing I’d already guessed. “I thought I told him to stay away.”

            “Oh come on, when has men listened to women? He came in demanding to know where you lived because he was so concerned about you.”

            “What did you tell him?”

            “I told him to crawl where the sun don’t shine.”

            I felt for a chair and finally my fingers found the couch behind me. I sat down and my heart raced. I knew I looked flushed and the look on my aunt’s face told me that everything she had predicted was true. I took a deep breath. Hell was about to begin.

 

Connor

            The aunt blew me off. She told me to crawl where the sun don’t shine. Where the hell is that anyway? Oh right, hell, that’s the answer right there. I didn’t mean to come back around but the idea of her being punished because of me just didn’t sit right with me. I also had a huge problem with people staying mad at me. And Dellana was really mad at me. I just had to make it right. I stayed awake last night wondering what I could do to alter her thoughts of me. Yesterday I had laid my heart out on the table explaining why I had done what I did. I told her about Sheila, the new boyfriend and then I had to stop and wonder why. I was never one to open up to strangers and yet, there I was baring my soul to a spectacle wearing girl who I didn’t even know. Maybe this was why people went to therapy. It was a stranger instead of someone judging them. The problem was that Dellana wasn’t really a stranger and she judged me. It was a bad combination that left me unraveling in my thoughts.

            I found myself waiting for the aunt to leave the shop hoping she’d go to Dellana’s house and I thanked my lucky stars because she did. She walked the two blocks east and came upon a small cottage house. She had used a key, I noticed, and let herself in. I didn’t really know if it was her house or not until the door opened again and she walked her aunt out. I saw that the bruise on her jaw was now an ugly black and blue. She wore these God awful overalls that were two sizes too big for her. She hugged her aunt and I waited for the older woman to disappear down the block before I got out to knock.

            “Did you forget something?” I heard her voice asking as she pulled the door open. The smile on her face disappeared when she saw it was me. She was going to slam the door in my face, I knew, and when she did, I caught it with my foot. She surprised me by stomping on my foot and I yelped as I removed it. The door slammed in my face and my toe throbbed as I jumped like an idiot. The door opened again and she came out with flared nostrils.

            “How do you know where I live?” she snapped.

            “I followed your aunt.”

            She shook her head. “You’re so evil! What are you doing here?”

            “I just came to check up on you. Is that so bad?”

            “I told you to stay away. I don’t need your drama anywhere near me. I already got a good kick out of it and I’m not enjoying the aftermath.” I stole a look inside and realized she was redoing her walls. She followed my gaze and closed her door to keep me from peeking inside.

            “You look well. That’s all I wanted to make sure of. I’ll take my leave now before you cripple me.”

            She laughed. “Oh funny, at least I didn’t kick you in the face.” I had to give her that one. I just shook my head and walked off. I heard the door slam again and I got into my car. As I turned on my car, I saw the curtain move and saw her glance out for a split second before letting the curtain fall back into place. I smiled knowing she was there watching me like a thief.

            I found myself in front of Sheila’s house…again. I could see that she was alone. The black Ford pickup wasn’t anywhere in sight. I walked up to the door and knocked. It was a moment before she opened. She was dolled up wearing too much makeup than I remembered and her hair had gotten longer. She wore very tight jeans and a black sleeved blouse that made her curves scream. I wasn’t used to this new person before me.

            “What are you doing here?” she asked with an irritated tone.

            My throat burned with jealousy knowing she was heading out to meet him. “You look different.”

            She smiled. “This is the look of a satisfied woman when she has a good man. I never had this look with you because you never made me happy.”

            Jealousy turned to anger quick and I felt my heart throb. “I never made you happy? How was it that I never made you happy? I busted my ass off for you working long hours so I could buy you everything you wanted. If anything, your demands were what made me work the long hours.”

            She crossed her arms making her cleavage appear bigger. “No, Connor, you don’t understand. You never made me happy at any point in our relationship. You were lousy as a lover, you were lousy in conversation and you were lousy in keeping me. It was your fault you didn’t see it coming.”

            My breath came out uneven as she smiled. I fought to keep my hands at my side. She noticed my fingers shaking and she stepped forward closing the distance between us. I could smell the new perfume she wore. It turned me off. She reached up with red painted nails and raked my cheek.

            “You want to know something, Connor. He makes me happier than you ever did and he will be everything you wish you could be,” she whispered. I heard the sound of tires and I knew he was there to pick her up. She smiled as I stepped away from her. I caught sight of him getting out of the truck. He glared at me with his eyes and I flipped him the bird. As I walked back to my car, I made the mistake of turning around. She caught my eyes, grabbed him by the neck and began making out with him.

 

 

           

 

Dellana

            It was after midnight before I was able to shower and sleep. When the alarm woke me up, I was dead tired but I got up and showered. I needed to finish the walls but I also needed money. I opted for money. I dressed and walked the two blocks to the flower shop. My aunt was already in checking off orders with the delivery company from wholesale. I ignored everyone who was around her and made my way into the break room where I removed my coat. I used what little makeup I had to cover up my bruise as best I could. As my aunt talked flower, I opened the front door and began setting up. The door opened and I prayed it wasn’t Connor. I let out a breath of relief when an older woman came in. I helped attended to her needs even though I didn’t want to. After she left, I walked to the back room where the wholesale delivery guys were just leaving. My aunt flipped me a thumbs up as she raced to the front door. I smiled and continued to package what was delivered into the fridge.

            I decided to take a walk back home during lunch. I needed some fresh air. The weather was warm today surprising me because the sun wasn’t anywhere in sight. As I reached my front door, I heard the grumpy neighbor playing loud music. I rolled my eyes and as I took my key out to unlock the door, he came out wearing jeans and a black leather jacket. He hadn’t shaved in a few days and was sporting a beard. His eyes were blood shot red and he really could use a bath. He stopped to stare at me and I pushed my door open. I could hear his music blaring through his open windows. Who the hell opened their windows in the middle of winter? I walked to warm the can of soup I had in my cupboard when I heard the doorbell rang. I shut off the stove and walked to open it only to find Connor standing there with a dreary look in his eyes. He had shaved and was beginning to lose the irritation around his lips. He looked rested, but I could still see the sourness behind his eyes. He stood there with his hands inside his pockets, a gray scarf decorated his neck and the breath that escaped his lips told me how cold it was.

            “What are you doing here?” I asked.

            He gestured to his left. “I came to visit my brother.”

            Frowning, I stuck my head out to see my grumpy neighbor making his way into the house. Then I turned to Connor. “That’s your brother?”

            “Yes. Why do you ask?”

            “It’s hard to believe seeing as how he’s rude and you at least try to remember about manners.”

            A small smile escaped his lips. “Gee, thanks. That should make my mother proud.”

            “That doesn’t answer my question as to why you’re at my doorstep.”

            He sighed deeply. “Look, I know that I’ve said I’m sorry about a million times and I still feel bad about it. I just don’t want you to think that I do this all the time. I really am a decent man and like you said, I do know my manners. I have a big problem with people being mad at me. It just doesn’t sit right with me.”

            I laughed. “First, you’ve only said you’re sorry about ten times. I’m sure you feel bad about it and judging from your brother, who has been my neighbor for the past six years, and is grumpy to everyone he meets, I guess I can label you as decent. And your problem about not liking others being mad at you is not my business and if I am mad at you, you’ll just take it all together and allow it to brew.”

            He opened and shut his mouth as if he was ready to argue, but no words came out. He stood there staring at me and then suddenly he laughed. It was the least I expected and it threw me off guard. He roared with laughter and I found I liked his laughter. It was jolly and his eyes crinkled at the edges making him look like the decent man he described himself to be. His eyes, the brightness that I adored, returned and I felt my chest panic with restriction of breath. When he stopped laughing, he wiped his eyes with the pads of his thumbs.

            “Gee, thanks for that. I really needed that laugh.”

            I smiled. “I’m happy to provide. My hours are Monday through Friday from eight to five. Now, please leave so I can finish my lunch and get back to work.”

            “Don’t you own a car?”

            “What’s it to you?”

            He shrugged. “I don’t know. I was just curious. My brother says you walk every day to work.”

            My brows creased together and I almost laughed. “Your brother told you that? He watches me that closely?”

            “Apparently.”

            “And here I thought he was not human.”

            Connor smiled. “Surprise, surprise.”

 

Connor

            I watched as my brother pushed the empty pizza boxes off of the table and onto the floor where more empty Chinese boxes were already filling the room. The house smelled of rust and something unpleasant. I couldn’t believe he took it this serious, this undercover job of his. He had stopped shaving and somewhere in between, I swear, he stopped taking a shower. He was now looking exactly like a bum because that was who he was supposed to be.

            My brother, Jason, was younger than me by five years, but he was a lot more fit and taller than I was. He was an undercover cop and loved his job. All I knew about this new work was that he was supposed to play a very grumpy and bum looking man. Well, he sure had his neighbors hating him. When I spoke to Dellana, she sure didn’t hide the fact that she despised him.

            “You know, when you’re inside the house, you can at least keep the house clean. No one is going to come inside. This is just taking it a bit too far,” I said.

            Jason looked up at me and laughed. “Yeah, I did that for the first year I lived here. Then one of the neighbors’ kids managed to break into my house and saw how clean and lively I lived. I had to take extra precaution to not allow it to happen again.”

            “When was the last time you showered?”

            He laughed. “Look, don’t let this getup distract you from who I really am. I’m just playing a part in my job. I’ve been successful so far and hopefully I can wrap up this case.”

            “Right and move so your neighbors can finally be rid of you. You know, they all hate you.”

            Jason shrugged. “I need to do a job and my job is hard to do when people try to be friendly. I can’t get anyone involved. So I have to be mean. It works. Everyone leaves me alone. I can spy on them easily. Like that neighbor lady you were just talking to.”

            “What do you know about her?”

            Jason smiled and leaned back in his couch. “Ah, caught your interest, didn’t she?”

            “No. Have you seen the way she dresses? It’s a clash between a grandmother and a grieving aunt. I don’t know which is worse. I just feel sorry for her,” I said. My brother laughed and then he leaned forward. He shook his head in disbelief. He narrowed his gaze and this somewhat got me interested.

            “You want to know what she really looks like?”

            I felt my stomach drop. “Have you been looking in on her?”

            “Hard not to when she walks around the house dressed in what she calls pj’s when she thinks everyone isn’t looking. Without the glasses, her eyes shine brighter than anything I’ve ever seen. She has this thing where she does when she’s nervous. She takes her hair and she twirls it around her fingers. She’s wound tight but I think that’s because she’s been hurt. Trust me, I know women, and that woman has been left picking up the pieces. She hides beneath those God ugly clothes only because she’s shy. But if you can remove each piece, damn, she’s God’s perfect creation.”

            Listening to him talk about her made me uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure why. I didn’t know why it bothered me that my brother saw what I already knew was there. I tried to not to give away my emotion in my eyes, but being a cop, my brother saw right through me. But knowing how I’d react, he kept quiet. He only stared and the look in his eyes said it all. I was beginning to not like what women in God ugly clothes and glasses did to me.

            I woke to the sound of my buzzer ringing loud and clearly irritating me. Now I knew why the people who invented those sounds chose to compose them in a way that made you want to shut it off. My head was aching and I was dead tired. I showered and dressed all in black aside from my red tie. I gathered my belongings and hopped into my car.

            When I arrived at work, I found my colleagues smiling at me from my previous win to design the building. Today, I smiled at them and decided I needed to stop being an asshole because if I lost the respect of the people I worked with, I’d be screwed. I made it into my office and as if on cue, Joe came in wearing an olive suit. He shut the door and clapped his hands together.

            “How you doing?” he asked. I looked at him and flipped him the bird. “That great, huh? Wow. I guess I’ll be spending a lot of late nights here. Hey, when you’re ready, you’ll need to start picking team members for your gig. The big boss wants to meet with you on team selection before noon.”

            “Don’t fret about it, Joe. You know you’ll be on the team.” He smiled and left as I sat down and rubbed my temples. There was a three inch thick folder sitting on my desk and I knew I was already behind. I’d pitched this gig hoping I’d win because the commission was huge. I wanted to make partner and if I could nail this, I knew I would have my name up there with my boss. I picked up the folder and made my way to the end of the hall where my boss’ office was. I knocked and entered. Frank Giles was just hanging up the phone as I entered and closed the door. He was a short, chubby man with little hair and these pale blue eyes that seemed to sink into your soul if you stared too long. He never wore suits to work. Instead he wore jeans and flannel. I wondered why he made it a policy that we wore when he didn’t practice what he preached.

            “Connor, just the man I wanted to see,” Frank said as he took a drink from his coffee cup. By the look on his face, I knew that coffee was cold and bitter.

            I sat down and dropped the folder on the desk. “You wanted a team selection.”

            “Yeah, and no, you can’t have Joe.”

            I frowned. “Why not? I always have Joe. He’s my right hand man.”

            Frank shook his head. “Not this time. Didn’t you hear?”

            Shrugging, I replied, “No. What did I miss?”

            Frank leaned back in his chair and sighed deeply. “I’m going to let him go. He’s causing way too much headache and each time I have to clean up his mess, I lose money.”

            I moved closer to the edge of my seat. “Wait. What did he do?”

            “The woman he’s dating is the daughter of the owner of my biggest account I’m trying to land.”

            “You mean Tyler’s Manufacturer?”

            “Yes. He just broke up with her and began dating her best friend. Last night, Tyler called me at midnight when his daughter tried to shove a bottle of pills down her throat. Luckily, she was saved in time and will be ok. But you can guess that Tyler wasn’t too impressed when he learned who Joe was working for.”

            “Did he threaten you?”

            “He didn’t have to. I knew what I had to do. I’ve been working on this deal for six years and because he can’t keep his pants zipped, it’s going to cost me a four million dollar contract. I’d rather lose him.”

            I blew out hot air. “Frank, you can’t cut him. He’ll be devastated. He lives on this job. You know you need him.”

            Frank took another drink and frowned. He made an unpleasant noise this time and shook his head. “No. I can’t afford to lose this contract. Joe, I can easily replace. But this contract, if I lose it, it goes to Weaver.”

            “Shit,” I muttered. Weaver was our number one competitor and if we lost it to Weaver, all our other accounts would soon merge over. I ran a hand through my hair. “Frank, this is going to kill Joe. You know that, don’t you?”

            “He didn’t give me a choice. Pick your team.”

            I felt my heavy feet drag itself to my office and as I expected, I saw Joe sitting in my chair already twirling as if he owned the building. The look on his face told me he had no shame in what he’d done. As soon as I closed the door, he took one look at me and he stopped the chair, the happiness fading.

            “Why do you look like shit?” he asked.

            “Why can’t you keep your pants zipped?” I snapped.

            “What?”

            “For crying out loud, Joe, Tyler’s daughter? You were dating Tyler’s daughter and you didn’t even tell me it was her. Now you move onto her best friend and she ends up in the ER.”

            He shot out of the chair. “I can’t help it, Connor. I’m in love.”

            “If I had a dollar for every time I heard that line from you, I’d die a rich man. You don’t know what love is!”

            “Oh, and you do? A man who is married to his work so much that his own woman leaves him.”

            “This isn’t about me, Joe. This is about you and how you’re going to be jobless because Frank had to clean up after your mess. He won’t let me have you on the team. He’s cutting you out. He’s had enough.”

            Joe’s face paled. “It’s not even that serious.”

            “Not that serious? Wake up, Joe! She took a bottle of pills to end her life. Nothing gets more serious than that, buddy.”

            Joe raked a hand through his hair and sat back down. “Look, as much as I loved Denise, I just couldn’t imagine myself being with her for the rest of my life. Then I saw Rachel and everything changed.”

            I shook my head. “Joe, you have to stop hurting women. You’ll end up alone one day.”

 

Dellana

            The weekend had arrived and I was more glad than usual to accept it. Kate kept her shop closed on weekends even though it would have brought her more business. She liked having the time to herself and I didn’t mind. As I rolled over in bed, I thought about what I was going to do today. My jaw was finally beginning to feel normal again. As I dressed in jeans and a sweater, I decided I would go visit the history museum and get lost in stories. As I walked out to the garage where I stored my car, I noticed my neighbor was taking the garbage out. He turned around and I stopped walking. He’d shaved and looked like he finally showered. Boy, was he ever handsome. But then again, if he shared the same genes as Connor, it was no surprise. He winked at me, smiled and walked inside the house. I stood frozen and had to repeat in my head what just happened. Did he just wink at me? Did he just smile? And for some odd reason, I liked it.

            I spent the day drowning in history and stopped to have a light lunch at their café. As I sat down and opened the bottle of water, I heard a chair being pulled out beside me. I turned to find my neighbor settling into his chair and smiling at me. He’d changed into a black v neck sweater and I could smell a different scent of maleness coming from him. He smiled at me and then he extended his hand to me.

            “Hi. I’m Jason. I’m Connor’s brother, although I have a feeling you already know that,” he said.

            I took his hand. “I’m Dellana, although I have a feeling you already know that.”

            Smiling, he replied, “Cute name, honestly.”

            “So you do know how to talk without chewing people to pieces.”

            He shrugged. “I was in a bad mood.”

            “Every day for six years? Wow, how lucky of me to experience this side of you.”

            He leaned back in his chair. “Trust me, I’m not all that bad. I just like my privacy. Is that so wrong?”

            “No, of course not, but there’s a kinder way of going at it then chewing people to pieces. The kids are all frightened of you. They call you Mr. Grinch.”

            He put his hand on his heart as if he was hurt. “That actually wounded me, seriously.”

            I smiled and leaned in closer to him. “You’re having a conversation with me right now. Are you sure that’s not going to damage your reputation?”

            Jason leaned in halfway to be closer to me. “And you’re actually cuter than I thought you were.”

            My smile faded as I pulled away from him. I watched as he leaned back in his chair and his eyes glazed into mine. The hair on the back of my neck stood straight up and I suddenly didn’t feel hungry anymore. The longer he stared the harder it was to find reasons to hate him.

            “Look, I’m not really that mean, ok. I do have a nicer side to me. But I tend to forget that people like poetry when being turned down. I, however, just like to hand it out as it is. Some folks can’t take it that way. I have a belief that if I’m going to hurt you, I should just go ahead and say it as it is and get it over with. It’s like pulling off a Band-Aid. Why prolong the pain?”

            I laughed and reality set in. I stood up from where I sat and I picked up my coat. “Thank you for that.”

            “For what?”

            I slipped on my coat and pushed in my chair. “For making me see that I was stupid to think otherwise of you. For a split second there, I thought you were human enough to carry on a conversation. But your rudeness reminded me that I was walking on thin ice.”

            Jason winced as if it actually hurt him. “Wow…you know, you really have a knack on how to wound people.”

            “Well, why don’t you record yourself some day and watch it. Then you’ll know what wounding is really like. Have a good day.” I walked out the door and the cold air hit me hard. As I was sitting inside, the temperature had dropped. I made my way to my car and got in. While I drove home, my encounter with Jason played in the back of my mind. What was his intention when he sat down to talk to me? And what did he mean when he said that I was cuter than he thought? This entire time, I thought I was invisible to him because he’d barely look my way.

            I shivered and pushed it back into a place where nothing mattered. When I got home, I parked the car in the garage and was glad to see that Jason’s car was not in the driveway. I hurried inside and turned the heat on full blast. I changed into warm sweats and an oversized sweater just in time to see snow falling outside. I loved the snow falling. I just hated shoveling and the little sidewalk I had and driveway was enough to make me feel insanely crazy. I put on a pot for tea and had just settled down sorting through the magazines on the table when the doorbell rang. I got up and pulled the door open only to find Connor staring at me with snowflakes falling on his hair. I crossed my arms, not caring if he was freezing.

            “What are you doing here?” I asked.

            He smiled, the pleasant light forming in his eyes. “Can I come in?”

            “Why?”

            “I thought you were big on manners. You should know it’s rude to let your guest stand out here while it’s snowing.”

            I laughed. “And you should know that uninvited guests have no place inside a home.”

            “Touche.” The look on his face made me cave and I groaned as I pushed the door wider. He walked in and shook the snow off of him as I closed the door. My pot began screaming and I walked to pour myself one and then thought better of it. I grabbed another cup and made him one too. He had removed his shoes and was walking into my kitchen where he started to remove his coat. I walked to hand him the tea cup and he took it, muttering a very sincere thank you.

            “So…you never answered me. What are you doing here?” I asked.

            He took a sip of his tea and set it down. “I was in the neighborhood.” I was about to argue and he must have read my mind because he beat me to it. “I came to visit my brother but he’s not home. So I thought I take a chance you were.”

            “Your brother is at the museum.”

            “How do you know?”

            “Because I ran into him over there earlier and he was trying very hard to flirt with me. I don’t like that.” I noticed the light died in his eyes and I wondered why. I pulled out a chair and gestured for him to sit. He did as told and I watched as he ran a hand through his hair. Seriously, he was very handsome and I really did feel as if my bones were jumping out of my skin seeing him this near to me. But I had to think about my heart, my heart that had been torn apart and still was not completely glued together yet.

            “So,” I began before he had a chance to talk. “How’s that ex-lover of yours? Has her new beau kicked anyone lately?”

            He smiled, knowing I was joking. “He better not. I haven’t forgiven him for the last kick he gave out.”

            “Can I ask you something?”

            “If it’s something I can answer, sure.”

            I put my elbows on the table and the question burning in the back of my mind came out. “How is it that a woman like her can give a man who looks like you up?”

            Connor took a long drink from his tea and shrugged his shoulders as he set his cup down. “You’re asking the wrong person. I wish I had the answer. I’ve been racking my mind wondering the same thing. The only thing I did was love her but apparently, it wasn’t enough.”

            “It really sucks when you’re never enough for someone.”

            “Can I ask you something?”

            I shrugged. “If it’s something I can answer, sure.”

            Smiling, he asked, “Why are you not with anyone?”

            “How do you know I’m not?”

            “Oh come on, that’s gotta hurt you more than it hurt me.”

            I tucked a loose strand behind my ear and dropped my gaze into my tea. Then I looked up to find him still staring at me with inquisitive eyes. I found myself at a loss of words. The silence dragged on and then he became uncomfortable.

            “I’m sorry. Maybe that wasn’t an appropriate question to ask,” he whispered.

            I somehow felt obliged because he had poured his heart out to me before. “No, it’s ok. It’s just something I’m not very proud to talk about. I’m still trying to get over it in a way.”

            “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dig up old wounds.”

            “Too late,” I whispered. “I had a fiancé. We were going to be married. I had the wedding dress, the cake and the entire ceremony at my feet. But I was missing the groom on the day of the wedding. He was already on his honeymoon, but the bride wasn’t me. I was left at the altar with 200 guests who felt sorry for me.” I was waiting for it. I was waiting to hear how sorry he was and the pitiful look in his eyes. But instead what I saw was the same pain lingering in his eyes that lingered in my soul. He knew all too well the hurt that came with something like this.

            “It’s his loss, really, because you’re such a prize,” he said.

 

Connor

            I was watching her as she washed the dishes in the kitchen. I don’t know how it escaped me the first time how flawless her skin was. I had been too focused on my misery that I had missed how beautiful she was. Even the strands of her hair had some soft lights in as the ray from the shades caught them. She wasn’t quite as curvy as I liked her to be, but then again, she wore those God awful clothes to hide her woman figure. Who knew what she truly looked like? I had spent the afternoon listening to her past and I realized that we were two of the same creatures. We had been left withering in pain as the other moved on as if what we had given them was nothing. By the tone she used to tell her story, I knew she was still fighting her pain. I wasn’t sure why I found her to be interesting. She was by far the most uncoordinated woman I’d met. She had no sense of fashion. When she spoke, it seemed as if she was in a world away from me. But something inside her eyes reached deep into my soul and held tight. It stung actually and it constricted my breathing. I didn’t know why and the reason bothered me. When she finished, she turned to look at me and our gazes met. For a moment, I thought I saw a light flicker in her eyes. But it was gone as soon as it appeared.

            “What do you have planned for today?” I asked.

            She reached for a towel and began wiping her hands. She shrugged and set the towel down, folding it into small halves until it could no longer be folded. “I don’t know. I was sort of thinking I’d get lost in a good book.”

            “Get lost in a good book. That is something I haven’t done in a long time.”

            “How could you not?”

            I shrugged and the answer didn’t come to me. “I don’t know. I just never had the time to do it for a while now. I was always busy with my job and Sheila. I felt I was always working and every time I stopped by a book store, it was either to buy a gift for someone or to work at the tables.”

            “I love books. I love how I can pretend my life is good. I can be anyone I want to be without worry.”

            I stood up and walked to her. She didn’t back up, but I saw that she had fear in her eyes. “Dellana, how could you worry about yourself? You’re so put together. I’ve never met anyone who knew exactly what she wanted more than you. You say what’s on your mind without fear of others. You live life the way you want to and you sure as heck don’t care what anyone says about your style of clothing.”

            She blushed and looked away. I took that moment to reach for her, but she looked up and walked away from me. I stood there like a fool and when I turned around, she was cleaning her already clean living room. Why do women do that? Why do women sought out to clean up when the conversation gets tough?

            “I have a lot of work to do. As you can see, I’m trying to finish my wall.” I got the hint. She wanted me gone. But instead, I put my hands together and leaned against her kitchen counter. She looked up and raised her eyebrows.

            “I’ll help you.”

            “No.”

            “Why?”

            She shrugged. “Because I don’t want you here.”

            “I have two hands. You can get this wall patched up faster if you have four hands instead of two working. I’m here solely to help out. I owe you that much.” For a second there, I was afraid she would say no. But after several blank stares and a long breath, she caved in.

            If anyone ever told me trying to impress someone was not exhausting, I would laugh out loud. I would not have believed it…until now. The whole afternoon, my arms felt as if it had been ripped from my socket and my entire body felt as it had been hit by a train. Although I tried to keep on a happy grin and pretend the work was not slowly killing me, I knew she could see right through me. She was not dumb and to think of her that way was an insult to her brilliance. I had never been happier to see the sun fall than when it did that evening. When she brought me the glass of lemonade, I gulped it down clean in two. The dinner she had been cooking halfway through painting was now beginning to make my mouth water. When she pulled the ham out of the stove, I literally drooled as I made my way to the dining table. I ate as if I had never eaten before and while she slowly forked a few ham into her mouths, I gulfed down my food.

            “You must not work too hard in your life,” she said.

            I stopped midway and looked up at her. “I do, I’m just hungry.”

            “Sure. Like I didn’t notice how you had to hold your breath to continue painting because you felt your limbs were going to be torn off. Or how you exhaled loudly when you thought I was out of ear shot.” I felt my cheeks blush. “Should I continue?”

            I put my fork down. “Ok, so I led an easy life. Why am I being punished?”

            “You’re not. I’m just saying why is it to so hard for you to admit to being overworked. You could have said you were tired and needed to take a rest. I would not have thought any less of you.”

            I shrugged. “So I didn’t want to bruise my ego. Is that a crime?”

            “No, but it would have helped you look more like a man in my eyes.” I didn’t know how to react to that so I just lowered my eyes and stuffed my mouth of ham.

            “So…how’s your ex’s new boyfriend?”

            I put my fork down. “Really? You’re seriously asking me that?”

            “That’s all I know about you.” Ok, I had to give her that. I wiped my mouth and leaned back in my chair, murmuring my appreciation for her food and complimenting her on being a good cook. She stared at me, waiting, and I cleared my throat.

            “Can I fix my image with you? I hate to be known as that guy who got you beat up by his ex-lover’s new boyfriend.”

            “It’s a little late to change that, but if your background is good enough, I might just revise my thoughts on how I feel about you.”

            I laughed. “I like your sense of humor. Well, what would you like to know?”

            “Whatever it is you want to tell me.”

            Nodding, I replied, “Ok. I work in architecture design for one of the largest companies in Minnesota. I just won a bidding to build the newest dome in downtown St. Paul. As you already know, my grumpy brother is your neighbor and he’s a lot nicer than he’s led on.”

            She stared at me long and hard. Then she said, “Your other story is a lot more exciting.”

            I paused and I watched as her expression didn’t change. “I just spilled my heart out to you.”

            “You call that spilling your heart out? Geez, I’ve read a comic book that had more details than that. Your life is pretty damn boring.”

            “So I like working. You can’t sit there and label me. I mean, from what my brother has told me, I can safely assume you’re spinster who may remain a spinster for the rest of your life.” Right after I said that, I finally realized what I had come out of my mouth. I remembered her broken romance and I kicked myself in the butt. But what was unexpected was the feeling that tugged at my heart when tears filled her eyes. The glasses didn’t hide her emotions and when one tear slipped down, I got up and rushed to her. As soon as I touched her cheeks, my entire body came down to my knees and my lips slammed against hers.