Get Into Houa's Mind

A year and 3 months ago, I lost my mother to lung cancer. At 3:07 AM, I watched as my mother took her last breath. I didn't know if I could survive going through it again. I still had my father, who was my world, to give light to me. Then on Sunday, February 25th, at 8:10 PM, I and along with my siblings, watched as my father took his last breath. In one instant, I was back to square one where I fought to not go crazy. I remember my chest constricted and all I wanted to do was just fall and weep until I had no more strength. I did just that, weep until I felt my limbs give in. The pain of losing my father was just too much and I felt the light that was shining disappear. Where will I be if I was to face this world alone? Both parents gone within a year of each other. Kuv txiv thiab kuv niam, cas ib pliag xwb, peb cia li ua ntsuag tag nrho tsis muaj niam tsis muaj txiv los hu. Yuav muab neb nco mus txog hnub twg? Neb tus ntsuj duab yuav nyob hauv siab tsis ploj. Kua muag niaj ...

Where do I begin to tell you how scared I am? How do I choose the right words to really describe to you how I feel? This moment that I am in is like walking on thin ice. I'm not sure when it will crack and if I will survive. The hardest thing right now is trying to stay strong when all I want to do is break apart. When a loved one falls ill, all you can think of is how to remain strong when crying is all you want to do. My father has been ill for the past few weeks and as the hours come to days, the hardest question we all ask has been answered. And while we all hold hands to try to stay strong, our hearts may break yet again into the new year of 2018. Reality of this horror is too much of a replay of losing my mother. And it's only been a year ago that this has left us all in tears. The world can be cruel and can be unjust. Today, this moment, it is both brutally and it has left us trying to find a sense of peace when none exists. I just want to say thank you to those who ...

Tiv tshav ntuj kub lug nyob ntawm kuv niam lub nraub qaum, hws tws si liam, plab quaj ua vig ua voog. Daim nyias kuv niam muab los ev kuv dai kuv nrog kuv niam mus ua teb. Hnov kuv niam ua ib pas suab loj suab me, txog siav zim, los kuv niam ob txhais tes khws twj ywm. Cua tuaj ib nplawg, kuv hnov txias zias ua kuv luag yam lom zem zis. Kuv niam siv daim nyias ev kuv tiv tshav mus ua teb, mus ua kuv niam luag dhau tej hav zoov nyuj txeeg, muaj wb ob leeg. Hnov kuv niam lub su ... ab kwv txhiaj nrov yam kho siab zim thoob ntiaj teb. Daim nyias muaj kuv tus ntxhiab cog nrog kuv niam tus. Kuv niam siv daim nyias ev kuv loj hlob, hnub kuv sawv kev mus ua nkauj nyab, kuv niam muab faj rau kuv mus ev kuv tus me nyuam. Muab nthuav los saib, los hnia, tseem hnov kuv niam tus ntxhiab cog rau tej me paj ntaub paj xov cuag li kuv niam tseem ev nraim kuv.